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Since leaving things have been manageable between us, however since the new girlfriend came along things have been nuts to say the least. Unsure if it’s her or him trying to make me regret my decision and want him back etc.
After collecting his things, things have stepped up a notch or two! I have had to stop my solicitor acting for me because we were getting nowhere with him – she has been excellent dealing with him in respect of messages etc she’s been receiving. So now the only way I will have her act for me is if he gets his own solicitor as Im sick of being a pawn in his sick mind games.
He has advertised our home for sale – it is not for sale yet, nothing has been decided/agreed – I was in touch with the police as I classed that as a breach of his interdict, they say no??
My solicitor was worried about me and checked her blocked mail and there was messages from the husband, worried her enough to get in touch with me to report to the police – again they couldn’t see a breach.
There have been other things going on – contacted the police (detail removed by Moderator) times in (detail removed by Moderator) days but I have not been taken seriously, the police seem to be taking his side with things and tell me to just keep reporting incidents.
I have been back in touch with my local woman’s aid and the lady who has helped me from the start is disgusted with the attitude from the police and has taken further through the domestic abuse team and is going to get her boss to bring up with the MARAC team about how things have been dealt with. His threats are he wants me dead.
What does he need to do for the police to take seriously? He seems to be protected more than me and why when he has put me through so much. The police have made me feel so stupid and disheartened.
Anyone else experienced lack of help from the police?
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Hey there, yes I’ve had both sides. The police were fantastic at one stage, but as the intimidation increased they didn’t want to act. It’s good the domestic abuse police are involved now. My ex was at the bottom of my street and I was told to wait till he looks in my window or comes to the door! Putting you in a state of fear or distress is a crime. Threats to kill is a crime. Even disguised as a wish. Sadly it depends on which officer you get so if you get a good one, take their name number and contact details. I don’t think it’s the new gf as my ex did the same. They just can’t cooperate with us because it means letting go of control. I too had to drop divorce proceedings because he was costing me a fortune and using the process to continue his abuse. Stay safe x
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Thank you Kip for your reply – it will sound wrong but I don’t mean it to come out this way… but I’m glad to hear someone else has dealt with the same, I know it’s not just me and I’m not alone.
Police were as you say originally great. The officer I had to the door (detail removed by Moderator) was good too and wanted to take further but it was their crime team that has said no. He has been outside the house but again as he didn’t come into the garden no crime – I believe he intended to come in until I spotted him from the window as (detail removed by Moderator) he sent the death threat via a third party (I only found out about the threat the following night when they were concerned for my safety). I have done everything I’ve been told block him no contact etc but until he threatens me directly not via a third party I can’t do anything – I did ask the police how can he directly threaten me if I’ve done as I’ve been told and blocked him? The police did say how can he take things further for divorce or sell the house if he can’t communicate with my family or solicitor??!! As he can’t speak to me would I speak with him to sort things out? Eh no and not my problem now he will need to get his own solicitor to start things up. He has shot him self in the foot with his actions.
He did message through someones mobile (number now since been blocked) asking (detail removed by Moderator). Eh NO – I didn’t respond to the message.
He is annoyed that he can no longer message my solicitor, although he continued to do so and she needed to block his email address. Some of the messages were off the scale, mentally but again the police didn’t take that into consideration.
Woman’s aid and domestic team have taken everything seriously and obviously as concerned for my safety that they issued me with a tracking/safety device for if I’m out and he appears.
He is still annoyed and angered that it was me who left him, posting on Facebook (detail removed by Moderator) 🤷🏻♀️ When it’s him causing his own dramas.
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Gosh that is so familiar to me. My ex was saying I was the one holding him back yet he was the one refusing to collect belongings or agree to divorce. There are stalking and Harrassment laws now for this very reason. Ann Moulds runs Action Against Stalking and has a great website. Check it out. You could also consider A private restraining order with power of arrest. Contact the Scottish Women’s Rights Centre. They have a helpline, free legal advice and possibly funding x
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