No money in the bank

[Rainbowcloud]

I’ve got £20 to my name I pay all the bills the whole lot of household expenses he give me an allowance each week no extra but everything going up he gave me a bit extra toward the gas and electric as it’s gone up £50 per month but I and to beg basically for it.
(detail removed by moderator) I said I’m so worried it’s the kids birthday (detail removed by moderator) so had to get those and uniforms they aren’t his children but we have been together many years and my children dad doesn’t pay a penny despite going through CSA.
I know they aren’t his children so don’t expect him to help in paying for them but my household bills and rent are £(detail removed by moderator) per months and he gives me 25% to the upkeep his argument is the kids eat more food then he etc .
I have got the kids presents and uniforms sorted with a struggle but left me penniless this month. I e got saving through work but it’s hard to access have to call and get it paid through ur wages which takes four weeks to do. So I said I will have to pay for food on my credit card which I did last month aswell and he goes well thags not my problems your broke is it what you want me to do ? Well he earns good money really good £(detail removed by moderator) per week which he just saves and I can’t afford to leave I was crying about it. Yes I’ve got an emergency saving account wofj work but I want to keep that Incase I need to leave or my car breaks.
Don’t know how he can watch me worry over money he says he has loads to pay out nothing compared to what I’m paying how I’m going to survive this month now when I’ve got to get to the (detail removed by moderator) September it isn’t fair really I want to cry that he sees me with jack all and orders stuff online that he don’t need !

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Rainbowcloud, this is a form of financial abuse. Funny thing is when my children were younger my oh did buy them things, the best of everything. So in his eyes he took care of their needs, just not their emotional ones😔 I was always in or over my overdraft, I was the one who bought the Christmas presents as they were my family not his. We’d agree we could afford to buy big household items, furniture, new Windows etc, but guess what, i always ended up paying for them plus paying for the weekend takeaway or giving him a loan of a fiver here, or twenty there. Then he’d say do you want that money back and i always said no it’s alright even though i knew it was leaving me short to pay bills cos he always said If you’re short jyst ask me, the few times i did ask he cast up for ages, accused me of spending my money on rubbish yet he could spend his on anything as it was his money and he worked hard for it. He always had a grand or more in his account just in case, wouldn’t touch it, hence me always being in the red. Now I’ve left him, i have so much more control on what i buy.
Once you’re away from his control, you’ll be okay financially and even if you’ve only got a fiver left in your purse before payday at least you’ve not got the abuse that goes with living with them. Once you’ve had your enough is enough moment, it’ll be your time to shine, I promise.
Live and light
IWMB 💞💞

[lover of no contact]

The financial abuse they perpetrate is awful and causes such worry about making ends meet especially when there’s unexpected bills and extras like school uniforms/books etc. Mine did the same. I was operating from what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. He was operating from what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is my own. I had to rear my children like that and myself and children did without while he spent the household money in unimportant things for himself. It’s so hard isn’t it.

[Rainbowcloud]

Yes I know they aren’t his but my youngest wasn’t even walking when I met him the middle one was still a toddler so he’s always been there they are all he knows.
He doesn’t get them birthday or Xmas presents I made q point (detail removed by moderator) I have all the worry he said I help I said only a little not much. It is very hard I used to lend him money but never got it back so I stopped but I always end up out of pocket for stuff. He promised me a new sofa ordered it off (detail removed by moderator) loan and said I had to pay half each month I said I couldn’t afford to pay anymore out so he cancelled it it’s laughablw when I’m paying for everything else. His kids come he gives me about £(detail removed by moderator) for their food for three days worth and they use the shower my towels all that stuff adds up doesn’t it but he doesn’t care he’s getting a free ride. I do rely on him for that 25% toward my direct debits but I will have to manage alone when the time comes as my food bill will go down loads aswell.
He’s got thousands In the bank (detail removed by moderator)
If I ask for £10 extra a huge row kicks off where he calls me all the names under the sun so I hardly ask.
This isn’t how other couples live I have asked my brother and he pays for all the bills with his partner and she gets the shopping I wish lol

[Author]

Posts