No support

[Anonymous]

I’m really struggling this week my whole life is a complete mess because of my ex partner. He’s under police investigation since I called 999 at the (detail removed by moderator). I thought I was finally free but he’s continued to cause so much damage to the point I don’t want to live. He made a vile false allegation about me (he walked into my work place and kicked off) I’ve been suspended from work and university for well over (detail removed by moderator) now. No support from the police. No support from work. No support from the mental health service or domestic violence service… nothing. He’s caused so much damage in my life and I’ve got to the point I don’t want to live anymore. He’s ruined my life and no one cares.

 

[KIP.]

Hey, and welcome. I care because I’ve been through the police and court and his smear campaign. I care because I cannot bear the thought of one more abuser thinking he is entitled to wreck someone’s life because of his own behaviour. You’ve found a wonderfully supportive safety net here. Full of women who have walked in your shoes. Brave Women who have survived everything thrown at them and are thriving now. Try to break everything down into bite size pieces. When we are angry and traumatised we don’t think rationally. Are you receiving counselling? Good therapy can help deal with the everyday anxiety. Do you have someone working with you from woman’s aid or victim support? Do you have someone representing you with your employer and university? Working to get you back to work and uni? A university student representative. They cannot expel you for something that is out of your control. My ex also made counter accusations. It’s just what they do to muddy the waters and take the spotlight off their own behaviour. Just you turn that spotlight right back on him. The Samaritans have a freephone number to talk to someone if you’re struggling. And your GP should also help with referring you for support. You’re not alone. I’m sure many people do really care, even though it might not feel like it just now. You’re not alone x

[Ifatfirstyoudontsucceed]

Hi, I’m so sorry you feel so alone and unsupported. I felt exactly the same just a few days ago. So defeated, like knocking desperately on doors begging for help but door remained shut. I don’t know if that’s how it feels for you? It’s horrible and hard but I really hope you can find strength from posting here and anywhere else that may help. I’ve found online support lifesaving really because I felt so low like you do. There some amazing kind people here who understand and care.

I’m determined to fight against localism of abuse services if I get through this. I’m guessing you may live in an area like mine where support is very limited. Everything CAB,MIND, mental health crisis, abuse support. It’s beyond hard when already dealing with abuse but please keep trying to get support. Try the national domestic violence helpline (apart from one bad experience, they were brilliant), Victim Support national line, Samaritans, MIND, Google if any other charities in your area or try neighboring area. Some people are so kind. Try not to get defeated by bad experiences. It’s a battle sometimes to get help. Post here, it’s been what helped get me through. Sorry this is long. I hope you get through this and feel a bit less alone. xx

[EbonyRaven]

We do care. I totally understand how it can feel like there’s no-one out there for you. After an initial flurry of activity from the police etc. you hear nothing from anyone for ages.

Have you spoken to the student’s union? They may be able to advocate for you.

Please keep posting. We are hear for you through this. You can get through it and come out the other side.

x

[Author]

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