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I think this is the topic board i’ll always end up in as I continue trying to make sense of everything i’ll apologise now for the repeated questioning 😂😂😂😂
So when we went (detail removed by moderator), I bought something for me to have later in the evening. We were both (detail removed by moderator) and I didn’t come across the thing I bought but didn’t think anything about it. I went to find it later and looked everywhere. Couldn’t see it. Asked him if he’d (detail removed by moderator) it, he said no. Asked the kids if they’d (detail removed by moderator) it (not uncommon haha!) but they said no. Figured one of them probably had and didn’t want to own up. Was out tonight and picked up another one. When I came home, he pulled the original out (detail removed by moderator) and said it was there! It really wasn’t when I looked!!
Now i’m trying to work out if he had hidden it, but I don’t see the reason or the point? and I’ve no way of knowing for sure, can’t prove it but I’m certain it was not where he pulled it from!!I wish I could say this is a 1 time thing but thinking about it, this happens quite a lot with various things but i’ve never really saw it as anything other than I must be mistaken or didn’t look properly!
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Hi Grumblebear
This is a very special kind of head-messing abuser who pulls these kind of stunts, and one I can totally relate to, makes you doubt your mind till you don’t know which way is up. Gaslighter extraordinaire.
There is something seriously wrong with someone who can devote this much energy to deceiving someone to such a degree that it will end up messing your head completely. Makes you doubt yourself continually, and mistrust yourself and your own memory, and usually start to tell you how unreliable your memory is, just to add into the special mix that is the headworker – the one who leaves you feeling sad, mad and bad. (from the Freedom Programme)
There’s no limit on questons though 🙂 thats why the forum is here, its the best way to sort through the mess that an abuser brings to our lives so keep asking and getting stronger.
warmest wishes
ts
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It’s so weird – I don’t understand the reason for it over something so silly!
He’s sitting shouting and swearing (detail removed by moderator) and I hate it! The kids get into trouble for watching videos that swear (obviously) but have to listen to him!
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I know. If you sit back and observe its really stupid, but its not about what the subject is, its about what it can do to your mind. It doesn’t matter to him what things he uses to mess up your head, but that he messes up your head.
Its best to take them away and do something else with them when he’s behaving like that. It can very intimidating for a child to see what their father is capable of when shouting and swearing like that, either they’ll learn to be just as double-standard as him, or just be confused and scared. Kids tend to do what their parents do, copy them, use them as role models, and pay far less attention to what they say, so in this case will believe its ok to shout and swear deep down and will be somethng they will do out of his earshot. He has probably taught them all the swear words by now!
If you can keep seeing through his behaviours it will protect your own mind and well being, teach the children the same, reinforce the good bits, like how good it is they don’t swear and shout like that because if you do that at people it is aggressive and can intimidate, that sort of thing, so they have a deeper understanding, and can see it from a different perspective, like you are.
warmest wishes
ts
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