When I was a child after what happened, maybe even before? I can’t remember, because it was so long ago. I never got a cuddle when I needed it, never got told I was loved, always felt guilty like it was my fault what happened and that’s why no one loved me. It’s affected me all my life I am able to say this now. I tried to be the best loving mum I could be but I must have failed. I’m now also aware that all of this has affected my mental health. I couldn’t see it for years until I started to have problems with my husband I believed. But if I’m honest I asked myself what’s wrong with me, when I started to lose my relationship s with my grown up girls, after 3 lifetimes of loving them all. Now my past has ruined my future it feels.