Non molestation order

[Hazel]

I left my husband some time ago. Now I am getting ready for divorce (detail removed by Moderator). A few months ago he frightened me he wi kill me because of it. I am going to speak to solicitor about it and I am thinking of asking her to arrange a non molestation order. The only reason I am afraid of doing this is me of thinking he might be even more aggresive towards me when the order is finished. What are your experience (detail removed by Moderator). How did your partner behave after it was over?

[Lisa]

Hello Hazel,

I’m sure other users will be able to offer support and advice around this. In the meantime, I just wanted to let you know about DV Assist who are a specialist injunctions charity, who can give advice and support with information and applications for injunctions in the UK: https://www.dvassist.org.uk/

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Watersprite]

Welcome hazel you have done such an amazing thing in leaving an abusive marriage. I got a non mol through NCDV and they did it for free. They did tell me as well as the terrible past things there had to be a recent incident which there was but you could take advice from them. You can also get a free initial consult from some solicitors. A non mol was the best thing I did but for others it can inflame things. My ex carried on stalking and harassing but it got a lot more subtle and although still distressing wasn’t a real threat to my safety. When it finished I did have to go back to court again as he started again – so predictable ! But what it did show him was that I meant business every breach reported to police every time he crossed my boundary I will stand up again. The court was scary but helpful it was one of the best things I did but everyone’s situations are different. Have you got any support? If he has threatened to kill you can report to police?i wish you well as but by bit your break the chains and get the freedom you deserve x

[Hazel]

Thank you for you replies. Yes he threatened to kill me a few months ago but I haven’t reported it to police. I know I should but I am so scared of his reaction to this as I always was. I am even afraid to do the non molestation order but as you said it shows I stand for myself. He’s go a new girlfriend now and keeps very quiet but I know when it comes to selling the house he still lives there his behaviour will change. When I left he told my daughter (detail removed by moderator)…He also saying (detail removed by moderator).
Now I am going for divorce so I am really scared of his reaction to this. He thinks we will stay as it is now without divorce as he doesn’t want to sell anything, there is another (detail removed by moderator). I left with my girls renting a small flat whereas he stayed in a big house on his own which is so unfair…

[Twisted Sister]

Hello Hazel

Based on the death threats by him, you could get more than a non-molestation order, you could also get an occupation order to have him removed, and then a non-molestation based on him not coming to the area anymore because of the risk he poses to you both.

He definitely needs ousting from the house, especially with divorce proceedings pending, because it will be difficult whilst he’s in there to get valuations and so on done if you are going to sell it as part of the divorce settlement.

The court can issue these things direct, or you can go online and download the neeecssary forms, its completely free, apart from the cost of having them served to him, but the police could presumably do this as he needs perhaps ‘removing’ from the property. He has made himself homeless through domestic abuse.

This way, he would be the one having to rent and stay away and you could concentrate on continuing your lives till the property is sold.

warmest wishes

ts

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Hazel, you have done so well by leaving.. it’s very daunting and scary.

I am at a similar stage, my husband also threatened me if I divorced him *which I am*… I posted on here the other day about being afraid of him, I have worked through that now and am informing the police soon of his threats, just in case, as I have ny children with me.
I also feel like I am being underhand as i talk to my solictor and listen to what they decide is fair (my husband worships money, he is mean and that’s why i am afraid, i do not have any money as he controlled all finances and still does.

I have a lot of support (which I am so glad I found as I think I would’ve broken without support or worse.. I may have gone back). I had meltdown with a friend yesterday and let a lot out and feel less afraid of him today.

How are you today? I hope you are ok as you can be ❤️

[Hazel]

Bless you, I hope we can feel better all the time. One day I feel optimistic but another so
scary and really down when I think about his reaction to divorce and having to sell the house so this is why I am thinking if I should or not to do the non molestation order together with the divorce file. He is also very mean and does not want to share finances. He wants everything for himself. I have a meeting with solicitor and I decide I will tell her everything and listen to her advices. Take care ❤❤❤

[Author]

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