Non molestation order application

[Anonymous]

I’m finally going to make this application but am concerned that as it’s emotional abuse and controlling behaviour alongside some harassment by text that it won’t be enough and I’ve just read another post referring to this which is now making me doubt my application. I don’t have financial resources to rent somewhere for me and the children and do not have family I can turn to. I have maintained the status quo because I fear he will get worse in terms of using the children to get to me. I’m sure this is so familiar. I’m afraid to make the non molestation application and be turned down and also to continue continuliving together whilstwaiting for a court hearing. Sorry for all these typos but a pop up about the voices survey us blocking my screen and I can’t close it so can’t see what I’m typing or edit it afterwards. This happened before when I logged in.. is it just me?? the

[freedomtochoose]

Hello LIH,
Well done for posting.
Haven’t done one of these as it was me who left, with child.
But I do know the place of mind where it I was (and sometimes still am) – worried sick about what I thought might happen next.

A few things hopefully helpful:
1) Safety first. Sounds obvious. But if this step is feeling too dangerous and you think it might put you at risk…try to think of other options.

2) Did you get solid advice on non mol? I’m guessing you did. but just to check.

3) How fast is it? how is it put into place? can you somehow not be around until and unless it is?

It is so difficult to think straight when you are in the FOG of abuse.
Can you do the form anyway and keep it safe? Or get some help doing it?

Thinking of you, sorry not to be more helpful
all best
ftc
x

[Lisa]

Hello Living in hope,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I just wanted to show you some support and to say that it might be a good idea to phone the Helpline for some advice or get in touch with your local Women’s Aid group. The National Centre for Domestic Violence is helpful for any information on obtaining NMO or injunctions. Please have a look at their website- http://www.NCDV.org.ug as they will give you lots of information and guidance.

Please also think about if you are safe to stay where you are and if you feel worried then perhaps you could consider a refuge. The helpline will discuss that option with you if you want to explore it further. Please look after yourself and think about safety planning. Try not to let him know you are considering these options as it could increase your risk and his behaviour could escalate.

Kind regards,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[KIP.]

Emphasise that you fear for you own safety. That his behaviour is unpredictable and he has shown a real lack of control wit’s his outbursts. Ring Rights for Women for free legal advice. I would say to go for it. If it’s not successful then it’s evidence for later on when his behaviour escalates that you felt threatened already and had previously felt the need to try to get protection. A supporting letter from your GP stating that your mental health is suffering badly because of contact will help too.

[iwillbeok]

Hi, I second the thoughts of others to get advice before going ahead with this. I was warned that getting an occupation order along with the non-mol can be tricky as it crosses over with property law. You need to highlight the fear you have for your safety as getting the non-mol without the occupation could see rules about contact being setup but the perpetrator arill living in the home – the idea of which did my head in I must say!!

I got advice and help from the National Centre for Domestic Violence (google NCDV). They were very understanding and helpful. You can ask for a sepcial kind of order (sorry can’t remember name of it) which means you get to put your case in court without perpetrator being present. If granted, you then need to return to court at a later date for respondent (the perp) to give their answer. Feel free to PM me if you want more details.

Please speak to WA and NCDV for advice. Knowledge is power. Use all the resources you can to help you out of this awful situation.

Iwillbeok x

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your helpful advice. I think I spoke to NCDC in the past but because I already have solicitor then they can’t help. I did speak to my local Women’s Aid worker who was helpful. I think I’m going to find it hard to prove the fearing for my safety aspect even though deep down I do because as you say he’s unpredictable. I will try and PM. I just feel trapped as like I can’t even really be open on here either.

[Author]

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