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    • #125270

      Hi , my first time post.

      I’m needing to file a non molestation order but don’t get the process how to do it or what happens.

      I’ve done the form and written the statement. I’m asking for a without notice order . But I don’t get what happens next ? Can someone please explain the process.

      So if I take the form directly to the court asking for without notice order, what will happen? Will I have to go In a courtroom that day with a judge on my own?

      What evidence do I get that it’s ‘granted’? Does the judge write a form out ?

      Does my abuser have to attend court – I’m really worried about this if so – I don’t want to see him or even hear his voice , let alone be in the same place as him. It’s made me physically ill thinking about this.

      What happens if judge won’t grant it ? Can I reapply ?

      I know I have to ‘serve ‘ the forms on him. But how? And which forms do I give him? Do I give him a photocopy of the non molestation order form I give to the court ?

      What happens in a hearing (exactly) if I get hearing ? Then what happens after ?

      I literally so confused by it all.

      Please can someone explain step by step what will happen if you have been through this yourself.

      I’m scared it will make him worse out of anger . But I have no option but to do it.
      How did you receive partners react when you did this?

      Also can I put in my statement a request for him to pay off the debt he got me into ? Is this allowed?

      I have no evidence, only written incidences I listed of what he’s done. Don’t even have police reports as he threatened me not to file any. So it’s literally going to be my word .

      I be had to go to court before because (detail removed by moderator) So I don’t have any faith in system to protect me.

      Can I ask for it all to be done over phone ? Instead of him and me going in a court room.

      No one’s seen what he’s done to me as hes charming to everyone else. So I’m worried a court won’t see him for what he is.his friends and family lie for him against me.

      What were your experiences please?

      Any help would be good – thanks. Sorry know there’s a lot of questions.

    • #125279

      Hi there. If you ring the national domestic abuse helpline they can help you with this. There are organisations that will do it for you and help every step of the way. Your local women’s aid should be able to help and support you too. Rights of Women have a good website and offer free legal advice x

    • #125282
      Main Moderator

      Hello Shandy,

      Welcome to the forum!

      You may find it helpful to contact either DV Assist or the NCDV for more information and support around a non-molestation order. These are both specialist injunction charities.

      I have sent you a PM with more information.

      Thank you for your post, take care.


    • #125286

      Hi Shandy,

      The NCDV helped me with my paperwork.
      I didn’t have evidence either.
      Usually there are volunteers in court who can sit with you while you wait and they can go into the courtroom with you too. But they aren’t allowed to speak.
      The judge will lead everything. I was prepared to support my case, but the judge didn’t even require that of me.
      Someone told me that judges would rather give the non molestation order than risk having something happen to you should they not grant it.
      After you meet with the judge and it’s granted, the order will be written up there. You won’t have to serve the order to him. I think it’s a bailiff who will do this for you.
      Abusive men can get angry about this and try to defy the order. But others don’t want to get in trouble with the police as their image ‘false image’ is very important to them. And they will want to make you look irrational. But you know what you need. For me, it was very empowering to take that step. You are taking a stand and trying to protect yourself.
      As far as the debt, I think that will need to be addressed separately. I’m so sorry he has done this.
      Best wishes xx

    • #125299

      Hi Shandy
      How you getting on with it?
      A without notice order would mean he isn’t there and doesnt know about it until he is served.
      The judge meets with you mine didn’t ask much but the witness statement said it all. She granted it and they give you the paperwork. In my case (detail removed by moderator). If not you would go to a server NCDV will arrange it the same day or the next day it’s about £100. He has a right to argue it and that would mean another hearing – often they don’t contest (detail removed by moderator). They are used to charmers … If he reacts call the police it comes with power of arrest but if he is a charmer he may just tow the line. If not get him arrested. It was the best thing I did apart from leave him – unfortunately he has carried on to some extent but every time now I react put up another boundary police are involved. A non mol carries weight with everyone It’s completely exhausting but I refuse to be defeated by him – he doesn’t get to decide the rest of my life. I agree with ocean it was scary and hard but so empowering -taking control back. Well done you – good luck and let us know how you get on

    • #125304

      NCDV helped me write my statement.It was (detail removed by moderator) so mine was all.dine remotely. NCDV sent me statement by email with instructions of what to do. I emailed it to court. I had a Teams call with a judge about (detail removed by moderator) after the emergency one was granted which was my husband’s opportunity to appeal.He didn’t. I did pay to get it served on him as it was quicker , was £120. I need to extend mine soon, hoping it’s not too difficult.

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