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Last night I had a halloween party with some work mates at my house. I have a very close work circle and always have. My boyfriend came round and two of the girls decided they were going into town at around midnight they wanted me to go with them and my boyfriend said about 20 times if I wanted to go to go. I chose not to but I chose not to because I didn’t want to not because he didn’t want me to. My ex would never hsve let me go with them. It felt eo good to be in a relationship with a man I love and to feel like he I have total freedom to do what I want.
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Awww bless you my lovely. I’m so glad you did that it must have been amazing. How does it feel to be in a loving, healthy relationship again? How long did you wait until you met someone new? I can’t wait to go out and let my hair down to forget about it all. I have a night out coming up soon with friends I can’t wait I need it xxxx
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It feels weird. I find myself panicking especially when he asks me what I want to do when we are together I want to give the right answer but of course there isn’t one because its a genuine question.
Overall it is wonderful I feel totally different to how I felt with my ex I don’t feel like he is trying to stifle me. It has been threr years since we broke up and my new boyfriend has been with me for a year at christmas. -
The difference is that your current partner seems to want to make you happy and to believe that you, just like anyone else, is entitled to be happy ( and not just with him- he believes you are entitled to find happiness in other things too).
Abusers don’t think like that. They don’t want us to be happy, because they aren’t happy. They try to sabotage our happiness and to, wreck out opportunities for growth and confidence and want to be our ‘everything’ / even though that ‘everything’ is horrible.
They want to be our everything and- if we don’t allow them this- they want to be our nothing( to systematically or dramatically destroy us).
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The difference is that your current partner seems to want to make you happy and to believe that you, like anyone else, is entitled to be happy ( and not just with him- he believes you are entitled to find happiness in other things too).
Abusers don’t think like that. They don’t want us to be happy, because they aren’t happy. They try to sabotage our happiness and to wreck out opportunities for growth and confidence and want to be our ‘everything’ – even though that ‘everything’ is horrible. They aren’t at peace, so they don’t want us to be at peace either.
We think we can save people by ‘loving them to peace’ ( I think that’s our motherly instincts coming out), but we can’t with someone who feels that feels entitled to abuse. It’s flogging a dead horse, and it ends up destroying us in the end.
They want to be our everything and- if we don’t allow them this- they want to be our nothing( to systematically or dramatically destroy us).
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