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Hello, I have been doing really well the last two weeks with progress on my feelings and excepting things how they are but all of sudden I’m back feeling upset and lonely, I know this might be Abit to much info but it’s my time of the month so hoping it’s just my hormones every where but my head is fried! When I think of my future alone it scares me so much.. I don’t know why I’m having moments of panic and just thinking I wish I could go back but then my mind fights it and thinks back to what abuse. It’s a rough few days.
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I know it’s hard, it could be a mixture of emotions, hormones exacerbating it, the pain is still so raw and new. After I left it fluctuated like that then it steadied for a while, but at times at the minute now I have found him to have someone new it wrecks my body in waves of pain and literally shakes me. I expect this is all normal and will pass, I thought I had started to heal but the wounds have been reopened a little, and as much as this hurts for you rn, just think that will pass and you’ll come to an acceptance and feeling of appreciation that you have got out of there, no more feelings of pain just gratitude and feeling bad for the girl who is now experiencing his abuse.. xxxx
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I think it is a mixture of all that because I have been ok, I do feel for her I don’t feel any bitterness as I was her (detail removed by moderator) ignoring all the red flags, I’m sure I’ll be ok in a few days just horrible feeling of emptiness and sadness. All I want is to be happy and have a family unit.
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These days do pass. It’s part of the grieving process for the relationship, for the future we thought we’d have. keep your journal handy, write how you are feeling or not feeling whatever the case may be.
You’re doing so well, both of you. I like being on the other side, remember my first time posting in after abuse. Was very surreal.
Take care IWMB 💞💞 -
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It’s kinda like withdrawing from a drug. Our fear, the stress hormone cocktail, the anxiety is what you were living on every day and night. When weaning off of that because you really don’t need it anymore – your whole being goes into a jerk. We have forgotten what it feels like to actually have peace. I remember sitting in my empty room a few times after someone was gone. I realized being lonely and alone are two different things. Being lonely is where I wanted a partner, someone good for me “consistently” and alone meant – oh wow, I have time to really Be with myself, decorate my space the way I want it, where I am the one who interviews anyone coming into my space, not the other way round. I can use whatever colors on the walls, but overall taking the time to learn what codependency is (look that up) and concentrate on you for awhile. Our being needed does not define us. If it does then someone else will always make your space their space. Any relationship is about two wholes coming together, not two halves. Read “Love” and the one on “Marriage” by Kahlil Gibran in “The Prophet”.
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Id love to in Stroud even you to “Living in the moment” by Jason Shiraz. It’s on YouTube. I came across this song when my sister introduced me to a friend of hers who was dying of cancer. Living in the moment can really help. Yes, you might feel lonely in the future and when you do, you will find a way to cope. I’ve adopted the mantra “Today I’m ok.” Because most days I really am OK. When I’m not, it’s often because I’m worrying about the future. But with no idea what the future will hold, there really is no point in worrying about it. Just come back to the right here, right now. Apart from worrying about the future, what is worrying you about your here and now? Is there a strategy that you already have that you need to do now or is there something you would like to try?
A few months ago, the ladies on here help me put a playlist together. When I’m feeling down I always put it on. I find it really helps. If you’d like it, please let me know.
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