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I just wish this would all end and I’d be free from him (not in life form). My ex seems to have me over a barrel whichever way I turn and he seems to be enjoying having me still in his clutches while ‘moving on’ with his life – although I’m out of the relationship as such, he still won’t move forward with the finances, divorce or selling the house. We seem to go two steps forward I get excited things are progressing then I’m hit three steps back 😭
I’m getting to the point of being sick fed up with people putting their two pence worth in – why aren’t you divorced, why don’t you just take him to court, make him sell the house, speak to him and sort things out or I would do this, that or what are you paying your solicitor for I’d have got this sorted by now.
The comments then make me feel as though I’m not doing enough (I know deep down I’m doing my best to get free) if I had all the money in the world is take him to court regardless of the costs just to be free but I don’t 🥺
His latest stunt and peoples comments have really pulled me down and that hasn’t happened for a very long time, just feeling sorry for myself at the moment ☹️
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This sounds all to familiar to me. I’m having the same issues.
It is so hard isn’t it when other people tell you how you should be handling it or asking why you haven’t done this or that yet. I often hear ‘you just need to get the solicitors to sort it out and you won’t be able to move on until you do’. Which I guess is true. But it isn’t always that easy is it. Paying for solicitors is one issue, getting the abusers to agree to do anything that would make things go smoothly is another.
I find it so hard to muster the strength to even initiate the discussions in the first place for fear of how he will react.Other people don’t always realise that this type of situation is so much more difficult than an ordinary break up as they are still trying to exert control over us.
It sounds like you are doing your absolute best. You will get there and you will be free. Step by step and bit by bit x
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Thanks Shazza, we were so close to the separation agreement but he realised the control he had over me would be coming to an end and got more awkward that his solicitor stopped acting for him.
When that happened I did think I should have given him or did what he demanded.
It’s sole destroying at times and yes as you say solicitors aren’t cheap at all ☹️
That’s what keeps me going at times hoping one day I’ll be truest free
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I understand exactly what you mean. I’m trying to get out too. Have house on the market but he keeps delaying on accepting perfectly good offers and now looks like i might lose the house i had an offer on because of it. And I’m so fed up of people telling me t be strong, to stay strong, to hang in there and they think they know what its like but they have absolutely no idea how draining it is, day in day out, dealing with someone who is unreasonable and doesn’t want to resolve and move on. They want to make you suffer for having the nerve to try and be free. Good luck to you both x I hope there is a day when we are back on here and finally free. Some days it feels like that gets further away. xx
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The thing is he’s with someone else, surely she must be questioning why we are still tied or trying to get him to pursue the divorce or sale of house as I’m sure he is blaming the delays all on me.
No one understands how unreasonable he has been and many assume I’m just exaggerating. I even showed a colleague a solicitor letter to prove what I was dealing with.
Tiredofitall – I hope yours accepts an offer soon so that you can at least be one step closer to your freedom.
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