Not a great day

[marmaladechamp]

Hi everyone,

I’m feeling quite low today. I’m exhausted and my stress levels are quite high due to his behaviour in terms of sorting out our joint responsibilities. I got upset last night because I miss my dog and would give anything for a cuddle with her. She always knew how to make me feel better over the years. It makes me angry to think that she’s with him and he is using her as a pawn to get to me.

I am still reeling from that email he sent me a few days ago. it was then followed by a few more messages where he was as nice as pie. I honestly can’t deal with his changing emotions, it’s too much mental anguish.

I decided when I was feeling guilty about the way I left him to listen to the recordings I made of him. They were absolutely awful and some of the things he so casually said to me about wanting to harm or get back at me if I ever do a certain thing made me feel sick. He said how he would kill me if he ever caught me cheating but the way he described how he would do it and to not get caught made my skin crawl. Also you could hear the pure hatred in his voice.

I know I have done the right thing. I am just so unsure of going to the police if he continues to harass me because I honestly fear for my life if he thinks to get revenge on me.

[KIP.]

Ring the police and speak to a domestic abuse police officer. Threats to kill must be taken extremely seriously. You already have enough proof on that recording. We minimise the abuse so it’s easier to deal with but listening to those recordings must be extremely triggering. You cannot ever negotiate with an abuser. You definitely need outside help. You are scared for good reason. The police can help with a safety plan. Put a marker on your phone and home so that you are a priority if you need to ring them.

[KIP.]

Also, get in touch with your local women’s aid for support and advice x

[Lisa]

Hi Marmaladechamp,

I just wanted to show you some support. Please don’t feel guilty, you have done nothing wrong. Your abuser sounds very frightening and intimidating and I think that KIP’s advice is really good. You could consider phoning the police on 101 and tell them your situation and your fears. Please also phone the helpline for some advice and support. They can help to talk to you about all your options and help you to decide the right way forward for you.

You have come so far and been so brave, please be proud of yourself and keep posting to let us know how you are.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[HunkyDory]

Hi Marmaladechamp just sending some support and a big hug, you have been doing so well, but you do need further help now, please listen to KIP and Lisa and contact the police. Don’t give up, keep posting like you have done, everyone here will help as much as possible xx

[Author]

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