Not being believed and who am I?

[Exit]

Hi
How do others among you deal with not being believed (detail removed by Moderator) I suppose it’s not a major thing, but I feel very bruised by the injustice of how things have gone for me and feel hopeless. (detail removed by Moderator) The other question I wanted to ask, was how to you re-build your life? I have no idea what my interests/hobbies are or could be. I don’t have a social life and whilst I have ‘friends’ they are not the really close variety. I feel totally overwhelmed by the enormity of the task ahead – rebuilding my life and finding out who I am. I know that sounds stupid. I have zero self confidence. Some days are better than others, but on really bad days I feel incapable of making even basic decisions. I can drive round and round a car park for example and not be able to make a decision on which bay to park in. I sometimes end up driving back home. Not sure if I am honest, that I am going to be able to have any kind of meaningful life. Does anyone else feel like this?

[Confused123]

Hey Hun

You don’t stupid at all, abuse can throw u totally off guard and break u down, i think most of us think and thought once we have left that’s it , everything will be fine, but dealing with the impact and damage the relationship caused us is another journey itself. You do leave the relationship and find it difficult to trust yourself, u don’t even know who u have become, I found small baby steps help, reach out to support agencies to help you and advise u. i started of by reaching out for counselling, i was on a 4 month waiting list, so in between that process i had no idea why no contact was so important , and my head was allover the place with just trying to protect myself and the kids and rebuild my life with no idea how, all i was concerned about was having a safe barrier around my self where he couldn’t hurt me, which was inside my rent house . Counselling actually made me realise the extent of abuse i experienced as i totally block it and went into denial, i just knew something was seriously wrong but couldn’t my finger on what it was. Whilst i waited for my counselling i started like walking which i built up over 10 min to 1 hour slowly, i joined gym slowly, connected with survivors, read up on abuse and just made decisions and trusted myself . (detail removed by Moderator) but again that’s why the support groups helped, as once it is clear in your head what happened by using the correct terminology and actually understanding what they did u can only hope u r believed,(detail removed by Moderator)

[Exit]

Thank you x

[Peaceful Pig]

Hi Exit, it does not sound stupid at all. I felt exactly as you describe (detail removed by Moderator), it was so traumatic I just couldn’t function. (detail removed by Moderator) I’ve been out quite a while now and things are improving, though it’s slow progress. My social life is pretty limited anyway due to work and the children but the hardest part in building friendships is trust and learning how to be a friend. When I was with my ex he would always put me off doing anything nice for anyone by telling me it was ridiculous and they would think I was stupid. I’m gradually pushing through the anxiety to allow myself to be a good friend. When I relapse though I find it very hard to reach out to anyone and can still feel quite alone. Try gently nudging your comfort zone bit by bit, try to think of the things you wanted to do but weren’t able to, now is your chance. Identity is a tough one too, its a scary feeling not knowing who you are, I’m gently experimenting with looks and activities and getting a firmer sense of what feels comfortable for me. You will definitely have a meaningful life but don’t rush or be too hard on yourself. It’ll come in time x

[Author]

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