Not coping today

[soconfused2]

I’m not coping very well today.
I’m in the process of divorcing my husband who has been emotionally abusive.
The thing that was got to me today is about custody of my children, which I think is going to end up 50/50. It breaks my heart that I won’t seem them everyday any more.
I just wish it could have been different. I tried so hard to save my marriage and put up with a lot. If he had just tried a bit, instead of blaming me for everything, then we would have been ok, and it would have been so much better for the children.
But he couldn’t. He was abusive. And now he’s going to have the children half the time.
I know that may be best for the children.
But I feel broken by it. I love them so much.
Is there anything I can do to feel better?

[liftingthefog]

Hi Soconfused2,
How utterly horrible for you at the moment. I’m guessing one of the reasons you stayed so long to try and make the marriage work was to avoid the disruption and 50/50 custody of your children.
I cannot begin to imagine how painful this must be for you now and the feeling of loss must be overwhelming. 😕
I presume you have spoken with your divorce solicitor to see if you can have custody and the regular every other weekend with their father?
I don’t know what to suggest as I don’t know your full circumstances but sending you big hugs and I can feel you pain at the outcome of your situation.
Xx

[soconfused2]

Thanks for your reply and hugs. Its really appreciated.
You are completely right that the children are one of the reasons I stayed so long.
The thing is (despite how much he has hurt me and except obviously his treatment of me) he is a good dad and I feel that it is important that they have an opportunity to have an equal relationship with him as with me, so I don’t think the right thing to do for them would be to push anything other than 50/50.
I know its right for them. It just breaks my heart.

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