Not feeling good enough anymore

[Sunsetluv]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been struggling a lot lately. My partner hasn’t been very supportive I have told him I’m not myself yet he just says everyone else has their problems too.

lately I’ve been feeling like I’m being made to be the problem. We can have an amazing time but when something happens I get the blame and I’m called a psycho or c**t.  Hes accused me again of making fun of his (detail removed by moderator) as he has a problem with his (detail removed by moderator). I have never made fun of this and I was accused and abuse was hurled my way. He also said he would end me if I done it again but didn’t hurt me it was just words. I am so confused because I am made to feel like the bad person all the time. That I’m starting to believe I’m the problem.
I haven’t really been doing well tbh, I’ve stopped drinking because when I drink I get really low. Some days I do think I’d be better off not being here anymore because I know I’d be happier and wouldn’t feel anxious anymore.
It’s so hard when someone you love can’t see what they’re doing to you. I just feel so unloveable.

Sunsetluv x

[Lisa]

Hello Sunsetluv,

Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I just wanted to reassure you that what’s happening is not your fault and there is nothing you have done to deserve this abuse.

Sadly abusive men will often deflect responsibility and blame their partner for their abusive behaviour, when we are told repeatedly that it’s our fault we can begin to internalise this. There is no excuse for the verbal abuse you’ve described from him, it must be so draining and distressing for you.

I hope you are feeling better this evening.

Take care and keep posting to let us know how you are doing.
Lisa

[Author]

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