Not getting anywhere

[Anonymous]

I’m trying really hard to end my relationship- it’s so painful because although logically I know that I need to i still really long for him to be the person he was when we met and the person he is any other time other than when he is just with me and the kids. I also feel so weak,I have no self esteem, no fight left and not really any close friends. So I told him I wanted to seperate, I’ve looked into keeping the house which is doable, I’m sleeping in the spare room. But he is acting as if nothing is happening and if I enforce it he says things like I’m ruining his life and I have an obligation to try and make things work because he loves me so much, he is also being on best behaviour being very helpful and super duper good with the kids- mainly step son. I feel like I’ve become this invisible person like I’m just existing and facilitating other people’s lives. And sadly I’ve just realised too that my son has started to use guilt trips as a way of communicating to me too, he said ‘I can’t remember the last time you were kind to me’ in response to me asking him to get his shoes on quickly- this is a mirror of things my partner says. I really wanted to keep the kids in this house but I guess I am going to have to just go if he is going to make it more difficult to end things. We argue all the time, I just wish he would say ‘yes things haven’t been good lets sort this seperation out’ instead of this is all your responsibility and decision and I want us to stay together and work at it but only if you commit to putting in 100%- but I guess if he was that reasonable we wouldn’t be in this position in the first place. I feel bad writing this on here because I’ve read such tragic stories that others of you are going through and really scary things your putting up with and you’re all so strong.

[Savingmyself]

Hello and welcome
You are being abused and can phone the helpline on here who will
Listen to you and help you move forward
Please call them as you will feel better finding out your options and feel less trapped by his abuse
Big hugs x*x

[Confused123]

Hi HUn

PLease call the support line and get guidance,u not responsible for your partner life, they will help u seek a way out and guide u , my ex did same said im leaving him in debt, i cant do this,in fact mine still didnt even behave, think of yourself hun, otherwise the kids message that its ok to do this too

[Author]

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