- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 5 months, 3 weeks ago by Lisa.
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20th May 2024 at 3:50 pm #168714LooneytunesParticipant
When I found out I was pregnant , shortly after my partner at the time raised a whole load of issues and we began arguing.
He said his choice would be to have an abortion due to the situation we was in and not getting on. I said I would not do that and it’s his choice if he would like to walk away from baby.
I said I would never stop him seeing little one .Didn’t hear much from him through the pregnancy .
He was there at the birth.
Birth was a bit traumatic so when I came out of hospital he visited a few times in the first week. My parents gave him a bit of advice and said (detail removed by moderator), shortly he left I got a load of messages of abuse. I said I have spoke to them they will not interfere again.He decided he would not come and visit little one till the (detail removed by moderator). I also said no to him taking our (detail removed by moderator).
I have a few concerns with his safety regarding our son.
He would rather play and distract him then feed him his bottle or food, he was willing to leave him in a (detail removed by moderator) to have a f*g , his answer to that when questioned was he would be (detail removed by moderator). Baby was in a (detail removed by moderator) . He said it was safe.
I explain hi routine as in bottle and feed times, he tells me he knows them but still asks each time.
If I disagree with something he has suggested , he flips . If I research something to do with baby he doesn’t listen it’s all bullS**t but when he does the research it’s all good and by professionals ( same answers to what I get through my research) .He has now again decided to say he will not come and see baby till he is on the birth certificate and now saying again I am the one stopping him visiting , stopping his bond with his son,
He also wanted a paternity test done at the start.
He puts all the blame on to me. Deciding to keep baby, and not thinking of the other party involved. He says I am hurting my son’s feelings and his. It’s all him him him. But he puts it on to me .
I am currently waiting to see a solicitor to get an injunction against him as he has also told me his mum wants him to take baby to home country to raise him.
I have accommodated him in all aspects, mediation, contact center. He couldn’t afford that so he came to the house. I invited him for baby’s first (detail removed by moderator).
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20th May 2024 at 4:08 pm #168715LooneytunesParticipant
Forgot to add. We have tried to work it out, but when he kicks off and I say we can’t keep doing this he agrees but the next time he sees me he all touchy feely and trying to flirt and cuddle . I said this is confusing I don’t know what u want or where I stand.
If I was to do all he asked and not have a say he would be happy.
I’m not so much worried about me. I’m worried for my son , as in will he feed him on time and when he’s hungry? Can he keep his temper at bay? Will he remember the essentials for baby? Can he deal with him if he’s upset and not settling?
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21st May 2024 at 10:20 pm #168743LisaMain Moderator
Hello Looneytunes,
Thank you for sharing this, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through, it must be such a difficult experience for you.
I can hear you’ve been through a lot, this must be overwhelming to deal with after having a traumatic birth experience as well.
It’s good to hear that you are due to speak with a solicitor about an injunction, this should offer you some protection in regards to his threats to take your child out of the country. Hopefully they will be able to advise you about your rights and options in terms of child contact also.
I would also encourage you to connect with your local domestic abuse service for some additional advice and support with this. You can find your nearest specialist service here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-directory/
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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