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He asked for my daughter an extra night so I said we had plans so then he asked if he could collect her an hour earlier than he court ordered time. I said no because he keeps controlling me. So he turns up (detail removed by moderator) half hour early messaging me to take her out early as possible. I felt pressured. I tryed to hold off for that extra half hour but was anxious so I went to go out 10 minutes early. But already he actually had a man come up to my house to get my daughter. I felt a little trapped and intimidated. It was quite horrible actually
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Lovely. I’m sorry you had to experience this.
Firstly, there should be no ‘man’ to collect your daughter.
You have the right to object, on contact or no, who associates with your daughter.
Please use this right and shout loudly, metaphorically speaking.Secondly, the contact order should be obeyed to the letter,
if it is not. Contact the police. Show them a copy of it and explain.Get an incident number please.
Also get an incident number about the ‘man’ you presumably do not know collecting your daughter.
Also, contact women’s aid.
Be strong lovely I am sure WA will advise also.This is out of order love.
Be strong
Big hug
ftc
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The only thing to do is close the door not engage and phone police if he won’t leave.
If it’s not part of court order for this stranger to take your child there’s no expectation for you to comply.
Ignore everything until you and your child are sorted and ready to present at the door at pre-arranged time.
It is awful, undermining, stressful and exhausting having to deal with that all the time, and that’s exactly the point, so stay well away from him. Keep door tight shut and report his actions and their impact on you. You should never expect your child to go to a stranger what IS he trying to teach child?
You have options, but it did take me years to be brave enough to not automatically open the door, answer the phone, respond immediately to texts and emails.
He is contravening the order just because he can and your child needs the consistency this order will put in place.
You don’t need to comply with him, or engage in any discussion about it, as what will court say if he complains that you refused him access to child outside of court order timings?
Keep strong, warmest wishes ts
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In was already coming out my house to take her down to the carpark where he waits. I went out 10 minutes early because he was messaging half hour early asking to take her out as soon as u can. When I walked out my house the guy was on his way up to my house. I saw the ex down the end of the road. If I didn’t go out early this guy would have been knocking at the door early. I recognise the guy now it’s one of his dad’s friends.
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The guy has no business coming to your home to take your child! What about the child goi g ooff like that with a stranger.
If that happens again turn round and go back indoors and lock the door.
I take it the plan is to meet him at x time in the car park then? So that’s what it is. If he has an order against him does it include using third parties? As this is a known perp behaviour and is on many court orders. If so, he’s broken it.
You might write these inappropriate behaviours to the court in direct contravention of the court’s order.
Do ignore him! 😉
Warmest wishes ts
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