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I’ve been keeping a log of the things he’s said to the children for a little while. I’ve also kept screenshots of the images he uses on social media as I know they are aimed at me. He has asked our youngest to check in the house for men’s shoes and other belongings. When I told my solicitor, she called back to say his response was that I was goading him, even when he changes his picture to screenshots of text messages I’ve sent him with a background of ‘lies are lies’ to imply I’ve been unfaithful, and the children are playing us off against each other. I’ve blocked him on everything but he uses the children’s devices to see what I post. He also scrolls through other people’s tweets to me and infers that we are talking about him. The children have both had my presents rubbished in front of them, and have been told not to snitch. I was going to contact the police about harassment and stalking but as it’s not direct contact, I’m afraid I’m doing more harm than good.
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It’s so hard isn’t it? These are the sorts of pathetic things I have to deal with too. I just keep telling myself to rise above it and be the better person. Just keep being me.
The thing I find really sad about all of this is that they have limited time with their children and yet rather than enjoying every second (as we would) they can’t help but take the opportunity to try and rile us instead.
Can you remove the social media from your kids’ phones? If you’ve blocked him on social media it’s best to try and go as no contact as possible – it’s not necessary for you to keep punishing yourself by looking at what his latest profile picture is.
Ultimately, we can control what we do but we can’t control what they do.
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Sad isn’t it. I can’t take it off the children’s devices but I’ve closed all of my accounts in the meantime as blocking him wasn’t enough. Friends can keep in touch by email or text so I won’t be alone.
The court arrangements were no contact other than to arrange childcare, but I’ve asked if that can be done via a third party instead and then nothing can muddy the waters at all.
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