Not sure what to think, rambling musings. (Maybe a trigger warning)

[Melonballs]

I’ve woken from dreams,twice in the trot, from where I’m being really phsyically violent towards the ex. Never had them before or even dreamt about him.

(He was never ‘handy’ , but to my mortified shame, I did once lash out at him. I’ve since learnt this was reactive abuse, but doesn’t make me feel any better about it).

Ages ago it was decided the house, which he’s still in, was to be sold. I’m sure he’s now dragging his heels, using the ‘weaponised incompitance’ and victim cards. Why should I still be doing the chasing??? (I do know, but find it so d**n frustrating).

A very good friend of mine, can’t quite wrap her head round why I haven’t started the divorce process. Being married to him still, has no benefits whatsoever, but it would have to make him get his finger our, re. the house.
I know I shouldn’t care what his family or friends, (some were mutual drinking buddies), think, but deep down I do. I know I’m known as the ‘bad’ one.

I want to finish on a positive, though!

I’ve held my head high and I feel like I’m finally getting myself together.

I’ve lost two stone, and got another 1.5 to go. I last week, gained a qualification to get me a job I’ve always wanted 😁

I’ve had two very nice men show an interest in me, (one I’ve known well over a decade, the other about 3 years). Not sure where I’m going with that?!

Thank you for the ramble – I had to empty my head!

I’m sorry I’m not on here much to support you all, but as the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. Mine’s starting to fill now and I hope all yours do too.

Remember, you’re all fabulous, unique and special 😁 ((((massive hugs)))) to you all – WE GOT THIS! 💖💖💖💖 xx

[Lisa]

Thank you for sharing with us, Melonballs. I hope it helped to offload to us on the forum.

Best wishes to you to continue with your positivity.

Lisa

[Author]

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