Now he started with money

[PersonalPolitical]

Usually he’s only talking to me like I’m dirt, now he started counting every penny I spend.

All of this started just because I went to (Detail removed by moderator) event.
He kept our child while I was out for those (Detail removed by moderator) hours.
Before and after that he started insulting me that I’m going to fu** around”again”(I confided to him about history of abuse and after almost (Detail removed by moderator) years of being in abusive relationship, I tried to end things and met someone who was even worse than him and raped me).

Just because I went to event.

I don’t know what to do anymore. WA is currently helping me but it will take months before I have chance to move out.

I tried to complain to his sister, she doesn’t care anymore. My family thinks I’m exaggarating.
I’m on my own, no one will call him out on what he’s doing.

[Serenity]

They up the abuse.

It really is like turning up the heat. As time goes on they introduce new forms of abuse, trying to totally monopolise everything.

It saddens me to read “Usually, he’s only talking to me like I am dirt.” How dare these abusers even do that!

Please see that the abuse won’t improve; it won’t even stay the same- it will get worse.

It took reaching out to Women’s Aid and local support groups to have my experience validated. Everyone I have met on my journey starting from Women’s Aid has completely understood and validated my experience. That is what galvanised me to leave. His family were just as abusivr as him, and their values were skewed, and my family have their own issues. I had to reach out beyond my family to get the help I needed.

You are worth so much more. x*x

[Serenity]

They up the abuse all the time.

It really is like turning up the heat. As time goes on they introduce new forms of abuse, trying to totally monopolise everything.

It saddens me to read “Usually, he’s only talking to me like I am dirt.” How dare these abusers even do that! We become so used to abuse, it almost becomes our norm. When you are out, you look back and see how dysfunctional and wrong it all was.

Please see that the abuse won’t improve; it won’t even stay the same- it will get worse.

It took reaching out to Women’s Aid and local support groups to have my experience validated. Everyone I have met on my journey starting from Women’s Aid has completely understood and validated my experience. That is what galvanised me to leave. His family were just as abusivr as him, and their values were skewed, and my family have their own issues. I had to reach out beyond my family to get the help I needed.

Please be careful: my ex began making sly demands with money, and this escalated over time into dire financial abuse.

I see how it was his surreptitious plan to financially destroy us and leave us destitute.

You are worth so much more. x*x

[PersonalPolitical]

Thanks @Serenity. It indeed is getting worse, he is allowing himself a lot more as time goes by and I don’t see a real reason why would someone act that way. It’s really unexplainable. I would never say this is ok if that was happening to some woman I heard is treated like this.

I’m not even sure what he wants. If only what he was doing made him gain something-I don’t like him, I refuse to serve him and I resist him. He knows this won’t pass. I feel like I got stuck with someone not very intelligent and it’s even more embarrassing than acknowledging how stupid I was not to see him for what he is…well actually, come to think of it, he still does have use from me left; he’s applying for visa based on our child. If he doesn’t apply based on that, he’s got nothing. So after he cooled off from me sexually and”romantically”(as if that was the case), he still needs me for visa. Then he will act even more disgusting until of course he tells us to pack.
He’s very sneaky I feel disgusted I ever thought he’s a good guy somewhere deep down. I could never be like that so yeah, I really don’t deserve it, rarely does someone deserves this treatment.

[Chickadee]

Some control every penny from the start. Others wait…… some wait, the wait is because they do it at the apex which means you could be near the most dangerous part of this. The point at which he decides it is time for you to go and will escalate things to try to control you during and control the outcome.

There are people that will help you. I understand you feel alone. I went through two as well and the second one was much worse as well.I have no family besides my kids. Contact the people in your area or outside of it if that is better for your situation that handle abuse/domestic violence. It is their desire to help you and keep you safe (mentally, emotionally, physically, etc.)

He is amping things up…..Ive been there, mine also said it was all my fault, how dare I not let him know how much money we had. I was in/out of the twisted garbage/lies they dish out stuff they make up, enough to respond, the checkbook is right on the office desk in front of you, your in there everyday.

Later after I got me and my kids out…..I recalled him watching every penny of funds get transferred to me after my mums passing. And her stating amounts in his presence when she was still alive. He knew exactly the wealth of money and that was what he was waiting for to benefit himself and what he wants. And his desiee to be live like a king off everybody else without working.

There are a lot of good leople that realize the control, the abuse, and the effects of what this is and what he is doing. Reach out, you will know when you have found them, you will feel it. Call an abuse hotline to help you, before he escalates more…….

[Author]

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