Now what?? Feel so quilty

[meand4]

Well me and my children have been free for almost (detail removed by Moderator) years we are happy I have a new baby and a wonderful partner getting married next year Me and the children are so happy sometimes I can’t quite believe the life I have now. I do look over my shoulder every now and again and I don’t think that will ever go away sadly, any way (detail removed by Moderator) months ago I had a social media message from some one who was asking questions about my ex along with a social services call there was a mix up with the police and I wasn’t meant to get the call my exam new girlfriend was anyway turned out that he had assaulted her and the police were called which as we all know resulted in social services being informed as she has a young child who was present. I agonized over wheather to reply to the message in the end deciding it would be beat for my family to just ignore it. Well (detail removed by Moderator) the girlfriend sent me another message 🙁 asking more questions this time I responded and she explained that her child was now on plan with social services ( I don’t know what that means) and on the at risk register she said that the police told her some things about him but not ever thing so I did tell her some things, the thing is I feel so guilty for not saying anything when I was messages months ago, I feel so bad for this child who I have no doubt has been dragged through hell I can’t sleep my partner says it’s not my fault but I can’t help but wonder. So sad, this evil man has destroyed another women and probly hurt another little child I feel quilty that I managed to be free and happy with my children and as a result this woman is suffering how do I stop feeling this way
🙁

[Ayanna]

I am really sorry you feel that way. This is not your fault.
Just think who would have believed you.
I blame the system, that supports perpetrators in so many ways and does not take them out of society.
Instead the victims get the blame.
They should have punished him properly when you got out. That would have protected this woman and her child.
I only hope that she gets away from him and does not return and fall for his manipulations.
As long as we have a male dominated, patriarchal world, that suppresses women and children, things will be that way.

[Confused123]

Hey HUn

Why do u feel guilty, it was him who chose to abuse another another lady not u, u have a right to be happy and continue your life

[KIP.]

I think the whole thing is triggering feelings of guilt. Our abusers use guilt to control us. There is one person to blame. If you carry the guilt, then he will not have to. Who knows what would have happened months ago. She may still have been under his influence. You were right to protect you and your children. It’s instinctive. Hopefully, any evidence you gave the police in the past will help to back up her story. It’s bound to trigger nasty memories. Just take some time and be kind to yourself. Distance yourself from it all if you can. She has ss and police involved now x

[Falling Skys]

Hi meand4

You have done do well getting out with your children and having a new life.

Sadly these abusers have to abuse and there was/is nothing you could have done to stop him abusing again.

FS xx

[Author]

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