Oh I feel awful beyond awful

[Alicenotichains]

Hi,

I had a flurry of texts and calls, he was asking to see me and then he got cross. My counsellor told me I need to block him else and is concerned that social services may not think I have “capacity” if I don’t make it clear I am trying to stay away from him.
I feel guilty like I have hurt him, like I could cry (I am at work so I can’t),depressed. I have blocked his number and I feel like I am upset it is over- but I ended it a while ago but this latest flurry of texts has triggered guilt and sadness. I am so sad.
Help me please

[iwillbeok]

Hi hon. Deep breaths – like the air is going all the way to your belly button…

Block him. Seriously the best thing I ever did. He sent simpering emails in days following split but I didnt answer. He wasnt sorry at all – took him 4 days to use that word. In the meantime he had ‘forgiven me’ and didn’t ‘hate me’ for calling police on him. ?! Nice.

Stay strong. You’re worth so much more. Keep posting x

[KIP.]

It’s the brainwashing making you feel guilty and sad. All contact is triggering. You have a right to be left alone. Please listen to your counsellor before it’s too late. Don’t let your ex draw you back in.

[Alicenotichains]

Ah ok I feel a bit better now that I have come home and spoken a friend on the phone . I have blocked him on my mobile. I can’t tell if he has tried to contact me or not. I think I prefer it this way rather than him being able to call and set me off whenever he fancies it:
Yesterday I had half a dozen long texts and several missed calls. It was hugely triggering as there was a lot of nastiness and blame coming my way and I feel guilty if I think I have upset someone: I felt dreadful at work. I think blocking him is the only answer and if that doesn’t work I will have to change my numbers.
I am still trying to breathe through things and think logically. I did well to get through my shift at work- I felt like crying but I was managed to keep myself fairly calm. It’s so hard but I do feel that it will get easier in time. I just need a large block of no contact which so far hasn’t happened. It will be interesting to see how different I feel when I haven’t heard from him for a few months x

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