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So I’ve been out for (removed by moderator) now. Some very sad days, some great waves of relief and every emotion in between. But right now I feel strong. Some challenging behaviour from the kids, but we’re doing ok.
Just heard that my husband has found another place so we’ll be back in in (removed by moderator) . So pleased.
(Detail removed by moderator). All emails have been conducted through a different account that he doesn’t have any access to whatsoever. He has absolutely no way of knowing where we are.
So that means he has followed me. That in itself is one thing. But the way he dropped it into conversation feels so much like “see I know where you are”. Thrown in casually so as to seem nothing, but meant to make me realise that he knows. How psycho is that???!!!!! A few weeks back that kind of thing would have sent waves of terror through me. Not now. I feel narked and annoyed that he thinks that such cheap tricks can scare me, but very very pleased that those tricks can’t hurt me anymore.
Just had to get it out there! …. people in this situation get it, whereas others don’t always, and might not see the sick control that he is still trying to exert.
In the same conversation he was saying “let’s try and speak without the solicitors”. Not likely mate! .. they are the ones who are making sure you don’t bully me again!
So pleased to be free … one step at a time xx
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It’s so great that you didn’t react. That kind of mind game used to send me scared and running like a headless chicken. It took me a long time to work that game out. I wouldn’t speak to him at all. With texts or emails you have actual evidence of his behaviour. Stick to texts on a different phone that you can switch off when you don’t need to contact him. Don’t believe he has moved out until you see it for yourself and get the locks changed asap. My ex went to great lengths so that I wouldn’t get s solicitor. Now I know why X stay strong and keep moving forward ❤️
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Oh no @eeyore.. he said the actual road!!! .. and we are way away from where we live. Had another day today of remembering why I left .. I made an email suggestion for seeing the children over the next few weeks / over xmas and he came back with the most far fetched suggestion ever and says he wants 50/50 custody …. having never cooked, cleaned, washed, wiped a bottom more than once in his entire life. My solicitor managed to make me feel better, but I am so cross – and so annoyed that he thinks he can continue to bully me .. and he even put something like (detail removed by Moderator)… do children also benefit from being told to F off every time they shout too loudly!??!…. ooh so cross! I have sent a curt reply back, he has since sent another which I am ignoring til next week. Grrrrrrr 🙁
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My ex relentlessly bombarded me with his list of demands too. I had to tell him that all communication was to go through the solicitors. It slowed it down dramatically even though he still tries to communicate directly I just ignore anything that’s not through solicitors. It’s not ideal due to the costs involved but I found it too stressful to have direct communication. It’s like my abuse filter during this difficult period of separation, divorce and child arrangements court proceedings. It might be worth considering if your able to.
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I am inclined to agree with you. I feel that his keenness to avoid the solicitors is because a) he hates spending money (which I get as they are super expensive!) but b)he can try and bully me if there is no solicitor involved.
On the phone earlier (After speaking to the kids) he was (detail removed by Moderator) (er no … I never ever said that)
What a blinkin rollercoaster! xx
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