Once you are out

[Anonymous]

Can you imagine what life would be like if we started having contact again? X

[KIP.]

I honestly don’t think my mental health could stand it. My heart goes out to all those women who have ongoing contact of any kind. I would urge them all to use third party as contacts, and contact books which go with kids. I went as far as a restraining order to keep him away. My mental health as much as physical health depended on it.

[Anonymous]

Hi kip yes i agree. Id just go under it would be the end of me and my boys. None of us inc his own son has any contact its been like that for over half of a year. It were the best thing ever. Id never contact him ever. Although sometimes i get so angry but then i pick myself up. Its impossible to move on while in contact. X

[Ayanna]

No way. I would instantly call 999.

[Borntobefree]

I would never contact him he destroyed me
If he ever came near me .999

[fridges]

I will call 999 if I ever would be approached by him. I can not stand anything to do with him. I feel like I can not breath. No contact forever and after forever.
The email wishing me merry Christmas was already enough for me, I’m glad that I found therapist to whom I could talk. Or I would be in a very bad state. Merry Christmas – was an attempt to drag me in, to suck me into the abuse again. Many weeks I could not sleep, I was crying everyday for hours, seeing nightmares he is chasing me. If I would not go – no contact, I’m not sure if I would be alive now.

[Good samaritan]

I’m not allowed to contact him as I have a harassment warning on the pnc because of how his devious mind works. I won’t lie I am often tempted to message him especially if our dog starts with his ongoing medical condition because I hate to see animals suffer. It can be difficult on the evenings because that is when we mostly spoke due to the nature of his work. Everything was left in limbo also because he has possession of something that belongs to me that I desperately need to get out of the financial mess he’s left me in.

[KIP.]

Please do not contact him. That is what he wants you to do and he will call the police on you and enjoy watching the further chaos and pain that will bring. And also discredit you from any further allegations. Like a true abuser, I believe he will contact you. Menatime I would seek legal assistance. If you can’t get through to Rights for Women then perhaps your local women’s aid can recommend a good solicitor. You may well qualify for legal aid. If he is working then he will probably have to pay for his solicitor. Do everything legally. Don’t leave yourself open for him to further abuse you using the police and courts. Be patient. These men always slip up. It’s just a matter of time.

[Anabela]

I am still in my early stage of no contact. But I have such a feeling of safety and comfort knowing he cannot get in touch with me, text me or email me. Any contact would just disturb my peace of mind. Which is still not that much at peace.

[White Rose]

Hell on Earth!
It would finish me off. Contact through solicitor is more than I can deal with right now, each time she contacts me with an update I feel sick.
If he contacted me direct he’d get what he deserves.

[Surviving]

I have no choice. My boys have just been taken off (detail removed by moderator) because they were abused but unfortunately my (detail removed by moderator) still has to go because cafcass lied and made things up (detail removed by moderator). I am devastated because my (detail removed by moderator) have to have child physcologists etc involved because of the emotional hard dad caused to him and now he has the chance to mess my little up

[Author]

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