31st May 2021 at 3:48 pm #126496
It’s been a long time since posting and in that time I did something stupid.
I went back to him, he was still in my head and still controlling everything. I tired to make it work but he soon started getting up to his old tricks (nasty comments, controlling behaviour and signing up to dating sites).
I pulled away emotionally and started standing up to him for myself and for the children. Things came to a head when I said after an episode what would work think if they knew how you behaved at home with me and the children? He flipped and has forced me out of the home. A lot has happened (detail removed by moderator) and police are involved as well as SS. I don’t want to go into much detail as I don’t want to be identified.
I feel so stupid for letting him call the shots again! He has turned his whole family against me but I am not worried as I have enough proof of his behaviour now that he could get into lots of trouble. I am speaking to a solicitor (detail removed by moderator) about my options (detail removed by moderator) I have gone no contact (and feel SOO much better for it!)
I wanted to shout from the rooftops to you all. When the time comes for you to leave this hell; leave and never look back! EVER! They will never change no matter how much they convince you/you wish they would. Save yourself the torture, a new life awaits you!
31st May 2021 at 6:28 pm #126503ScapegoatParticipant
Hi Overcom, I’m sorry you feel let down. I was like you …got already to leave then stupidly let my emotions get the better of me, took it upon myself to tell him I was leaving as couldn’t just go ( didn’t think it was fair on him) what a complete idiot. I was sucked in hook, line and sinker to how sorry he was, how he would change, blah blah. Then was lovely, really lovely for (detail removed by moderator) weeks and now I’m all the effing so and so’s under then sun.
I’m sorry things kicked off for you but I’m glad you seem to have gone ahead with things and are currently sorting them out. I’m sending you love, positivity and courage. You go get em girl 💕
31st May 2021 at 6:29 pm #126504DarcyParticipant
Hi beautiful Angel… Overcome,
I second the title of your post.
However, I to went back too!
Its very common.
I went back out of fear, it was easier to be next to my ex than always looking over my shoulder for him… it made sense to me at the time!
Please don’t feel bad about going back, trauma bonding can pull us back or sometimes we just aren’t quite ready.
It sounds like you are ready now and I wish you all the best for (detail removed by moderator)
Sending you continued love and support
31st May 2021 at 11:53 pm #126508
Thank you so much for your replies ladies.
I am just sat right now plucking up the courage to call the police back and press charges. I didn’t want to in the beginning but now I feel it’s the only way.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did it go?
Overcome x x x
1st June 2021 at 10:13 pm #126537KeeponfightingParticipant
My partner walked out on my(detail removed by moderator) (toxic, mental abuse, gaslighting) he decided he made a massive mistake and stupidly I took him. Back.
He said he’s changed etc etc but (detail removed by moderator) down the line things have gone back and I need to plan my escape!
I cant carry on like this! It’s torture and bringing me down so much.
I need to be strong.
Come on girl we got this. Xx
2nd June 2021 at 11:03 am #126556
Keep n fighting…
The clue is in your name! You can do this, and I can see why on average it takes 7 times until you leave for good. Only you know when you’ve had enough.
I have found that reaching out and telling those around me has helped massively as before I almost protected him from the truth of what was going on. I’ve had to face a lot of truths about myself and learn to forgive myself for what I have allowed, and it is only making me stronger.
Also, going no contact is the only way that I have not been sucked back into the manipulation, it really is that only way. All child arrangements go through a third party so I don’t even need to discuss this with him. It has helped me keep a clear head and I am now able to make my own decisions without fear of his reaction.
I hope what I am saying resonates with you, we are all in this together! x x x
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