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    • #165915
      Rosielife
      Participant

      OK….. so here goes …. me and my partner been together (detail removed by moderator)….. I have an (detail removed by moderator) daughter of my own he has a (detail removed by moderator) son … we are a self made family .
      We have had a few incidents in the years of being together . He’s a self confessed functioning alcoholic… he still goes to work … Still trys .
      Sometimes when he’s had a drink he becomes verbally abusive and acts in a out of control way.
      (Always trying to get him help on his mental health and alcohol use but he never follows it through ?
      He’s never physically hurt me or the children.

      We have patches of good times …. where hes brilliant with the kids will play on the playstation with them … he will be placid. Cook us dinners, go to the shops buy us treats etc . He woll be caring funny and kind .

      But in between he can also be moody, shut himself away and every once in a while he will drink too much. This last incident (detail removed by moderator) I called the police as was worried he wouldt stop smashing things .

      This is all because we had an argument (detail removed by moderator)

      These things happened every so often and I’m also left in turmoil and traumatised. I never leave him as always some how think I over reacted :/

    • #165920
      Hereforhelp
      Participant

      Hi Rosielife, what you describe is an abusive pattern… keep a journal of the incidents as it can help.

      He chooses to drink.. .that’s his responsibility to stop if he wants to, no matter how much you try to help him it is only him that can help himself. Alcohol isn’t responsible for his rages, that’s all on him.

      Have you read Why Does He Does this by Lundy Bancroft? Many of us remain in abusive relationships as our partners can also be so nice… which means they do know how to behave.

      Keep posting
      HFH ❤️

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