one more thing which finally clicked

[fridges]

I have a private gynaecologist, whom I visit when I go to my home country, it is cheaper there and very detailed check up. This summer I was there and she was checking me, said all looks very well, she was surprised how my health improved and then we did the regular test, urine test, as I often had infection with it. She looked at me and said, I really do not understand what is happened, you do not have anything. I also was surprised. Before when I was visiting her, I was asking for antibiotics in advance, as I know when sex will happen with him, I will have urine infection and will be painful for me. This happened all the time.
Now soon will be like (detail removed by moderator) I did not have anything physical with him, and almost (detail removed by moderator), since last time, he did it to me, despite of me saying NO. I did not have this infection not even once. It really clicked on me, when I was looking more about rape, and how to help yourself and so on. There was written that going to the toilet is very painful, and then it is all clicked in my head. My Gynaecologist asked me which lifestyle changes I did for the last year and it was exactly (detail removed by moderator), when he was not any near me. She saw it when was doing the check up.
The words, I love you so much, you drive me crazy, I can not control myself with you at all, you are too beautiful, was only to distract me, to put a blame on me, on the way I look.
He knew exactly what he was doing.
Also my body was giving me other sign, I was vomiting after, or feeling like to vomit. It happened not only once.

[Lisa]

Hello,

I’m sorry to hear about what he put you through. Causing you so much pain and not getting consent is unacceptable. Perpetrators know what they are doing, all they want is complete control.

I hope you are in a better place now.

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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