Opportunities for women in 2016…..

[Healthyarchive]

I have just seen a fairly well dressed, fit & healthy looking man asleep on a bench. He looked very down on his luck. I automatic though he may have done something to cause that. I walked past him, back at work & doing OK. The opportunities for women these days are vast,a lot of men are stuck in the dark ages like dinosaurs with their views,beliefs & behaviour. With increased opportunities for women any man who is violent, controlling, a sponger or user will be outed in society, there is just no place for those damaging behaviours anymore. As women we can have a fun social life,retrain,take holidays alone or with groups,go to the cinema there are many cinema social groups or take a weekend away. There are so many groups and opportunities available now you can actually mould your life to how you would like it to. You do not have to have a lot of money ,be superfit or childless. We don’t need to stay with these dinosaurs from the dark ages to have a great life.💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪they make us feel mental when we are not😠

[Confused123]

So well said, for all those ladies struggling just want to say dont give up, i know its hard to budget with children but we will al get there.

[Serenity]

What an amazing post, HA.

You are so right.

When my ex met me, I was on course to have a profession I enjoyed. Very cleverly, I now realise, he began to chip away at my confidence and sabotage my efforts to get ahead. He managed to stop me from completing job training which would have meant financial security and social confidence for me, so I ended up like a fly caught in a web, stuck and at the mercy of him and his toxic fangs!

A few years before he left, I suddenly found the strength to rise up, and despite all the odds ( including his sabotage efforts ) managed to complete professional training.

I realise nor that he even used the kids to try to prevent me from living my life ‘out there’, deliberately causing me anxiety about leaving them with him whilst I worked.

It’s hard to comprehend why or how they can behave like they do, and what on earth their motives are. But I suppose it’s a bit like those crooks you read about who kidnap and imprison women or girls for decades and hide them in their cellars. It’s the ultimate power trip- complete monopoly over someone else.

I have written before how, when living in another town miles from family or friends, my ex was very abusive, and that when i moved back to my current town, where my family and many old friends live, he had to become more clever in disguising the abuse.

Looking back, I can’t believe what I went through, but I can see that the thing that kept me strong was my joining local mums and tots groups, other groups, being in a community, visiting friends, indulging in hobbies, etc. I realise that he hated the fact that I had all those positive things as back up.

Since he’s gone, I have recommended old hobbies, enjoyed having coffee with friends, walked and acted with freedom, gone on an amazing overseas trip…

You are right, their sexism has no place in today’s society. They won’t find that society supports their behaviour. There’s a long way to go for DV victims, but their blatant abuse won’t ever go completely unchallenged by society, even if they want it to.

They are part of a bygone era, and had better shape up and move with the times. 😡

[Healthyarchive]

Thanks for your post Serenity, when I think of my ex and other men that i have known their behaviour is becoming more & more unacceptable in society today. Where I work there is strict policy around equality, respect & treating people with a certain moral code. I have seen news articles where people are being filmed without knowing and they are being racist or abusers are seen abusing their partners. I know that where I work if a male abuser worked there he would soon be sniffed out and there would be consequences as his abuse is likely to seep out in other ways. My ex had a reputation for dishonesty in his workplace which was quite a reputable organisation where he hadn’t worked for long. At the same time the opportunities now for anybody to get out and lead a really great life are huge. I remember years ago when I was married I thought my husband was my whole life, that I couldn’t possibly make friends and develop a life outside of the marriage. I stayed because I thought I had made my bed & I had to lay in it. Fast forward a number of years i have lived alone happily for many years & have never looked back. I have developed a full, fun and active life, minus a man who brought me down or made me doubt myself. X*X

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hi all. I totally agree with what has been posted here. I haven’t posted in a while and kHz done me now good. Do not underestimate how therapeutic this is. I’ve not been feeling myself lately but it’s ok I know I’ll have ups and downs. I’m staying with a friend soon for the weekend and I know that will give me the focus I need. I don’t need this man I don’t want him I don’t miss him I just want my divorce to come through and for me to move on with my life. I know that won’t happen straight away and there is a process I need to follow but I had nothing good in my life with him. I am literally upgrading on everything it’s out with her old and in with the new nothing that he has touched or knows about. I didn’t have a penny to my name with him and my goodness have things changed. You know what ladies there are plenty more fish in the sea. These men are nothing special and if they were we would never have had to leave in the first place. Yes you have the absence of a partner buy why would you miss the absence of such an evil person? Good riddance to bad rubbish man onwards and upwards. I always said I couldn’t replace my parents he wanted me to leave them forever for him but I told myself one thing…I cannot get myself another set of parents but I can replace a husband lol that’s my lesson learned for today. Ladies you can do so much better than such a vile vile situation as this and you will do better I can assure you x

[Author]

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