Other means of long-term support?

[Anonymous]

I can’t do this alone but I honestly have nobody I can reach out to. The thought of having to carry the trauma of what happened for the rest of my life by myself is utterly horrifying and sadly I have been unable to find any resources on how to make that easier.

My local branch of Women’s Aid was unwilling to help me and there are no other support services in my area I can access.
It feels as though I have spoken to every helpline and been to every local GP too in terms of being signposted only to meet dead end after dead end. There have been days, weeks where I’ve done nothing except look for support.

And I’m burnt out and don’t know what to do, tbh.

[Lisa]

Dear Carmilla,

You might find it helpful to have a look through our Useful Links page, as it provides a lot of information regarding support that’s available.

SupportLine are also an excellent service, if you’re not familiar with them have a look through their website; they provide emotional support via telephone and email and also aim to provide accurate information on other support groups, agencies and counsellors throughout the United Kingdom.

Or, if you are exhausted of looking for the right support, perhaps you could take a break from doing so, and try to focus on some self care, trying to find what works for you; there’s some good tips on the MIND website.

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[Rafaello15]

Hi Carmilla, I feel your pain. As I have been in the same situation as you, looking for support for several months. Turned away from womens aid too. Then for days tried the Victim support and eventually got a IDVA and some support through them. Which still was not enough. Lisa has recommended some links to look at.
I wish you all the best, and don’t give up but do take a break when you need to.
Take care.

[Anonymous]

Supportline has nothing listed for my area at all.

I called the helplines listed in useful links before and came up short. They could not list or refer me to anything whatsoever. I was told to stop contacting refuge.

I do not even think GALOP is operating anymore as it’s impossible to get through on my end. Just keep getting a message saying “It is now outside of our opening hours” even when calling within those times.

I don’t know what else there is.

[iliketea]

Have you tried the Freedom Programme, you can do it online but in person is good as you will meet people who have had similar experiences to you.
Recovery Toolkit is a good book. A 12 week plan to help people thrive after domestic abuse.
I wasn’t sure what stage you are at in terms of how long out, and if you’ve had any support at all.
IDVA if not out or only just and still experiencing post-separation abuse – with issues to still resolve in terms of safety, parenting, custody, housing, legal.
A DA support agency – they vary so much from area to area, sometimes they arent always obvious – you could try your local homeless charity and they will definitely know who is working on post domestic abuse support.
GP – and the social prescriber at your GP should definitely signpost to post domestic abuse trauma support.
NHS will run support groups or 1-2-1 for trauma, ask to be assessed. Its usually via CBT, its not ideal but its a good start and its a safety net for now, 1-2-1 trauma therapy is good.
Try listening to some podcasts on trauma recovery Caroline Strawson has some good ones. Whilst you’re waiting for therapy as sadly there is stupid long waitlists at the moment, it might have to be self-help for now, and coming here to the forum for support and advice. There are a lot of free resources, podcasts, books, videos on YouTube. Have a look here, the booklist was really good for suggestions.
Journalling is good – I don’t do regularly enough but when I do it really helps to get it all out of your head and in time to start to work through it. The Recovery Toolkit above is gold standard for the things to go through and consider for recovering from this nightmare. I get where you’re at, Ive been there, stay strong, it sounds so so trite but the old self care thing is number one and being kind to yourself. Hope that helps. Will think of more things and post if I come up with anything. Some therapits also run low cost places, usually a waitlist, and places that train therapists usually offer free places, not ideal for trauma but it would be something and someone to listen and to hear you. I hear you. stay strong. it will get better. xx

[Anonymous]

Freedom Programme is not operating in my area at all, so there’s no chance to meet anyone who understands.

Haven’t had much support simply because I can’t access it. It’s just been me doing self-care all these years.

No groups in my area that could or wanted to help. Just me.

NHS has been useless. Going to those assessments was humiliating and they said there was nothing wrong with me, so didn’t help. No good GPs in my area either.

Can’t afford private therapy either. So it’s just me.

[Peonylove]

Hi Carmilla, why don’t you try doing the Freedom Programme online? I’m having to do it that way as it’s not run in my area either. I’d rather go to a group too but it’s just not an option and I need to do something. Good luck, I hope you find some support even just through this forum xx

[Anonymous]

There’s no chance at longer-term connections if it’s online only. Once it ends, I’m on my own all over again. Goes back to being just me.

[Author]

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