29th July 2020 at 4:35 am #111160
Well it’s been a few weeks and I am feeling better
The improvement is quicker than I ever imagined.
I still feel quite numb to my son
He’s behaving like it never happened still like this is all that needed to happen us not living together and still no real acknowledgement for the pain he’s caused like the years of his torment we’re just normal for us as mother and son.
I always new this wasn’t the case but felt I had to endure I had to support him because he is my son but this isn’t the case at all.
I now get to choose what I endure get to switch off from him
He still tries to draw me into his dramas with partner as that doesn’t sound like it’s going that well in a very few short weeks but it was never going too. !
I just try to stay out of it
He’s love bombing her a lot I feel I’ve seen it with my own eyes after inviting me to there’s after an outburst with her.
I could see so very clearly how toxic it all is. Was. !
I’ve a long way to go as I refuse to brush this under his abuser rug. Which is what he wants me to do.
I’ve made is this far which I never thought I would there is no going back to that life.
29th July 2020 at 2:54 pm #111180LottieblueParticipant
Oh I am so glad to hear from you and especially sounding so strong. You are an inspiration! X
29th July 2020 at 7:37 pm #111191iliketeaParticipant
Great to hear your update and to hear you gaining strength! Freedom!! Xx
22nd August 2020 at 9:54 am #112612
It’s been nearly couple of months and I’m gaining strength.
Never thought I would be able to say that. !
I’m in shock the relief I feel
I actually smile
I’m waking up
Still feel distant to my son don’t trust don’t feel safe around him so I’m limiting the time
There are days I crave to see him
There are days I doubt what happened
Was it abuse or did we just not get on did he just infact not like me
Felt he had to punish me for being a bad parent to him.
I wasn’t. !
To all those that doubt you will feel better
You actually do.
Well I am starting too.
23rd August 2020 at 8:12 pm #112653LisaMain Moderator
Thank you for sharing with us, it is great to hear how positive you are feeling.
23rd August 2020 at 10:07 pm #112659EggshellsParticipant
Hi Headcook, It’s so lovely to hear from you. I can tell just by the way you are writing that there have been some big changes in you. I’m so glad that you are gaining strength. You sound like a different woman. xx
23rd August 2020 at 10:46 pm #112661
I feel a different woman
I have a long way to go but the lights are on inside.
Going to look at councilling and I’m still getting calls from my support worker which I’m thankful for.
The calls are also different content although they do still trigger me !
I’m still scared of son I’m aware of this when I’m around him or If he contacts me via text I have to reply straight away for fear of his wrath for taking to long
I am aware of these feelings and am being told this is engrained and will take time to subside if maybe never when dealing with him
Over all it’s so much better.
26th August 2020 at 7:33 pm #112785TheydeservethebestParticipant
I was here specifically looking to see if you were around.
I’m very relieved for you.
You’re doing so well, keep smiling x
27th August 2020 at 9:03 am #112809KIP.Participant
Hey I just wanted to say well done. When you’re trapped in Abuse it feels hopeless and you can’t see an end to it but you have proved it’s possible. Time to slowly put more and more distance and set your boundaries. They will empower you even more. Don’t be dragged back into the crazy and welcome to the other side 💕
28th August 2020 at 6:48 am #112850
Being on here I always felt very alone with my type of abuse
Adult child to parent abuse.
My support worker always says the dynamics are very different to partner/husband abuse
They are your blood.
I have had to deal with the abuse and the fact he is my son 2 very different things running alongside each other both pulling you in separate directions him being my son usually the winner hence so many years of abuse
I had reached the lowest point with the abuse so this became bigger than him being my son
I had to get away the time had come else I fear I would not make it. I truly believe this
Kip thank you for always being there you are the one whom most associated with me with your experience with your son
Do you no what I finally now can say abuse is abuse no matter who the perpetrator is.
Is all wrong and so damaging to your very being.
You fear the other side kip but the other side is far better than you can ever imagine
Thank you all.
28th August 2020 at 7:14 am #112853HazydayzParticipant
Good morning to you. Your journey has been a long one and we all have seen how difficult it had been for you. You are like a different person now? Since finding hope for your self and reconnecting with you! I guess?Your new surroundings, your new home! peace and tranquility… All helping you we see! Happy for you! and to read your able to connect to others who have voiced similar experience. Some in here may not? But every one here reading, has learned from you too! Enjoy your new life, you deserve it!💞
29th August 2020 at 7:33 am #112909KIP.Participant
Head cook, even your posts sound so much more positive. You are stronger now and you know it. Set your boundaries and never allow that kind of abuse again. You can close your own door now and it’s up to him to respect you or get out your life x keep going and building on your new freedom. Slowly taking baby steps x
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