Out but grieving after his recent death

[Gettingthere]

Hi, Im just a newbie and truthfully I feel a bit of a fraud on here with you brave inspirational women. My counsellor thinks I could gain something from speaking tho so here I am.

I had just started to feel stronger in my life after a long relationship since my teenage yrs where it took me a long time to accept that it wasnt the fairytale I always painted it to be. My ex then passed away very suddenly and the pain and hurt is tearing me apart one minute then the anger i have for the things he put our daughter and i through is firing through me the next minute. He isnt here with us any more yet im back to feeling that emotional wreck on a rollercoaster of emotions again. I feel like its never goin to end 🙁 that he is still torturing me

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry to hear he has died and how it has made you feel too. I can understand because I am away and hate him on the one hand for all he put us through but in the other hand if something happened to him it would break my heart. Its the hardest feeling in the world, I think it is because we get attached to our abusers even though they abuse us, they have a good side too, the hoovering bit, or as too is called the honeymoon period. I think coming on here will help you too as it has helped me so much, I don’t feel so abnormal for all of the feelings and emotions I have gone through. It is an emotional roller coaster and very difficult to understand our own feelings, I hope here helps you as much as it helps me x

[White Rose]

Dear gettingthere
Regardless of your relationship with him you will feel his death in many ways – you may feel sad and it’s ok to feel that way, you’ll probably be angry and you may feel cheated by him getting off by no longer being accountable for his actions as he’s not around.
You’ll be up and down and thoughts all over the place and you’ll probably start thinking of lots of things from the past both good and bad.
Feel free to rant and rave or pour your heart out or simply just read posts. Whatever you want to say please say it and you’ll be listened to, just don’t feel you are alone – there’s enough of us on here to offer you support xx.

[Nova]

Hello GT

& welcome we are here to support each other. Bereavement is so tough and we are all feeling bereaved in ways, that we are mourning the relationship,that never really was, I know what your saying, your having to deal with that on top of all your past.
It feels like so hurtful..but your realistically taking steps through this process, which is all you can do, to begin your recovery.&.which will bring up all sorts of emotions.

That’s positive that you are able to move slowly through this, tbh it’s not easy whichever way we have to deal with abuse. It’s just not, it’s c**p and it hurts, and guess what your here we are here, and we will get to another place, together. Hopefully better than our past, we deserve the best. Keep going 🌺

Hugs

Cx

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