Over thinking

[Hopesprings]

This time off work has been like over think central for me. I feel safe because of things that are in place. I’ve been doing so well with everything as the time has gone on but things have felt kind of stoked recently. He is sticking around this town and I really can’t understand why. Can’t help but think he’s going to have something in store for me.
I love my flat but I think as the protection is coming to an end I will move from here but part of me really doesn’t want to. I might feel totally different by that time but I’m just in limbo. I just hate the thought that he knows where I am.

[Hopesprings]

It just feels at times that it is never ending. All I want is a simple happy life. I wish I had never met him.

[Serenity]

Hi Hope Springs,

I am sorry that your time of has been marred by you worrying about things.

I know how it is, when you get in that place where you think that they will always have power over you and you will never be free.

But what I tell myself ( eventually!) after getting to that low place is that we are believing our abusers when they try to make out they are stronger than us, we are weak and that we won’t ever be able to find release from them.

In fact, the opposite is true: abusers are weak cowards, they need us or other victims to survive and are needy, weak people themselves. They have only brainwashed us into thinking we are weaker. But for us to put up with all we have, to come out the other side, to be here discussing and understanding abuse and perpetrator tactics, we are strong, and our knowledge makes us powerful.

Do what you can to make a life for yourself based upon your choices, your preferences and your likes; focus upon you; distance yourself from and ignore him if you see him in passing- know you can cope with this, even by coming on here and offloading.

You can get through this. He is the weak one. They make us feel they are all-powerful but they truly are nothing. They are like ants we can squash underfoot with our knowledge and power. We can own our own tactics. We can adopt our own coping methods.

Treat yourself today- it sounds like you need it x*x

[Hopesprings]

Thank you. You’re right. I spoke to women’s aid earlier and they helped me through some of my options and stuff too xx

[Ayanna]

I understand your worries. I will move too at some point. I just do not feel safe where I live. I keep thinking that he found out where I live and that freaks me out.

[Hopesprings]

Today I’ve woken up with a new (well old) attitude of what I am worrying for?! Ahh this is just what it’s like good times and bad I guess.

[Falling Skys]

Hi Hopesprings

Glad your old attitude is back, life is deferentially a roller-coast after abuse, I just been through a dip but am pulling myself p again :).

FS xx

[Hopesprings]

Glad to hear you are pulling yourself up too FS xx

[Author]

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