Overdue update

[little-miss-sunshine]

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to update you all on my situation. Sorry I’ve not been on here, I’ve been pretty busy trying to get back on track. I’m still at my sister’s house, things have been going well up until recently. I have actually been looking after myself properly, my health has improved. I’ve got a good self care routine going. I’ve been meditating a lot, journaling and trying to exercise a bit.

I felt quite numb for a while and I haven’t been upset really until recently. I’ve been enjoying being back in control of my life and finances and having some peace and normality. But the last week or so it feels like it’s hit me all at once. It’s started to sink in that the life I had with him is over and I’ve started grieving the nice bits.

I think someone wise on here said a while ago that this might happen. I’ve been pretty upset and depressed the last week or so. I feel really angry at him, betrayed and lonely. I don’t know how I’m ever going to trust anyone again. I feel stuck, like I’ve hit a wall.

Also, he hasn’t spoken to me since I left! No hoovering, no reaction to me leaving at all. I had already decided to go no contact, so really he’s done me a favour. I just can’t really get my head round it. That’s not normal is it?! Well maybe it is for his kind.

How is everyone? Please let me know how you are if you want to.

Hoping for safety and peace for all of you. Much love 💗 xxxx

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Little miss sunshine 😊 I did think of you the other day! It sounds like things are a little easier and ❤️ self care you are doing for you x
Yes! It is painful and I feel slightly shamed that (mine has a new host and has left us… zilch… MIA). Then I thought, of course we couldn’t separate and Co parent as he is incapable of what I and my children needed, I see.that now. The sudden cut off is harsh, it will pass and again and again… each time you feel this way look.back.how.far you have come 😊 keep pushing forward ❤️ HFH

[little-miss-sunshine]

Hi Hereforhelp!

So nice to hear from you 😊 Well I’m glad that at least you have some separation from it. Sorry for your children that he’s incapable of co parenting and giving them what they need. But I do think you sound better off without him!

I like the way you describe it as a new ´host’. Mine was like a brain eating parasite so it’s a perfect way to describe it 😂 I was thinking my ex has probably moved on as he hasn’t tried to get any attention from me at all. I feel sorry for the new lady if so.

Feeling a bit better today, still quite surreal that I’m in charge of things now and that I have money left at the end of the month. I’m starting to plan the things I need for when I move out. Has made me feel a bit more motivated 😁

Hope you have a lovely day 💗 xxxx

[Same-again]

I have felt the same.
The really nice thing (which also reflects my change) is that you’re talking about you. As in your focus is your life. Your recovery, your healing.
Finally, I feel that shift. Thank god, I rejoice.
I can deal with the journey of healing now I am my focus.

Much love to all, whereever you are on your journey. I’m routing for you all and me. X*x

[little-miss-sunshine]

Hi Same-again

Ah that’s really interesting! I hadn’t noticed I’ve stopped talking about what he’s doing and I’m talking about me instead. Thank you for that, really important thing to notice 😊

So glad that you’ve felt that shift as well, I wish you so much love and luck on your journey, rooting for you too 💗

Much love to anyone who is reading this also 💗 xxxx

[nbumblebee]

Thanks for the update I often wonder how those who left are doing. as hard as it is Its good that you are moving foward and not looking back. You should be so proud of yourself. Keep up the self care the self love it will help see you theough this. I hope you have some support out there too. Take care of you now sweetie xxxxx

[little-miss-sunshine]

Hey nbumblebee!

So nice to hear from you as well, thank you so much for the support! As Same-again said, although I feel really sad and angry sometimes, I have completely shifted my focus to me. I never thought this would happen 😊

Luckily I do have some support, I’m staying with my family (although I can’t wait to get my own place!) I’ve also reconnected with a lot of friends I thought I’d lost due to his jealousy and insecurity. So that has been really good to know.

Hope you are doing well. Much love to you 💗 xxxx

[StrongLife]

Best to go not contact – it will just end up abuse anyway. I contacted for sake of kids and received abuse only.

I went no contact as the kids were getting older and he was irrelevant.

He never contacted. It’s difficult situation.

It’s difficult to go no contact.

[–Titanium–]

Hi. It’s so good to see posts from people that have left, especially no contact. I’m doing it really soon and I feel like I’m going to bail at the last minute, I’m so scared… not of being alone… I’m excited for that, but I described it to my sister the other day that it will feel like coming out of prison after (removed by moderator) years, it will feel weird to be able to do what I want, when I want. I hope you are doing well and enjoying your new life x

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