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    • #79934
      Greyskydarkdays
      Participant

      It’s been ages since I last came on here, I don’t no where my head is st anymore, just when you think there he is, the man I love, he destroys every last ounce of faith you have left, last year I had my birthday, I went out with friends, he said it was ok, it clearly wasn’t, he constantly rang me calling me names accusing me of all sorts, threatening to bring my children out in the night to come and bring them to me, obviously that was the point I gave in and came home, he had been planning to propose, I didn’t know, but I’d ruined it, I’d ruined r relationship, he sat me down got on one knee, I told him it wasn’t the right time, I asked him to just wait, but he needed to he had built up the courage and so a big life decision that should be about us, was again all about him, I said yes, I couldn’t find the strength to say no, I’m in such a bad place in my life, I feel like I’m drowning, he will not change I no that, but how do I get him to leave, without any upset, this is my home, but he now contributes to the bills, I feel like I’m over thinking things, my brain feels like scrambled eggs, I know what I want but I haven’t got a clue how to do it, it’s like if he gets upset then I’m going to feel bad, he will threaten suicide, then he’ll get in a mess and I’ll take him back for feeling guilty that I’ve done that to him, there is no winner here, I don’t want to hurt him as when he cry’s my heart hurts, but I can’t breathe anymore, I have to get out for my own sanity

    • #79986
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      Hi there,

      It sounds like emotional abuse and manipulation. I know how extremely tough it is to deal with and confusing. Have you rung the helpline? They can help you create a plan to separate from him. You deserve a life free from abuse and if you don’t want to be with him anymore then you have every right not to be.

    • #79991
      Getmylifeback
      Participant

      Its horrendous im there too.
      The controlling then guilt tripping iss exhausting.

      I was about out then have been emotionally draggged back in.

      Keep strong, talk to friends, this is what keeps me on an even keel when things are bad.

      But dont marry him and have kids as believe me its a million times harder to leave.

    • #80002
      Greyskydarkdays
      Participant

      Thank you, it’s nice to know someone is listening. We Already have children, that’s the hard part, he’s just so nice at times, and when it’s nice it’s easy to forget the issues I face, but as soon as we’re in a good place there he is, it’s like as soon as I’m finding my feet and I’m standing on my own he is back to put me in my place, make me question myself, then I get so consumed with life at home, I can’t think about all the things I want to do, and my brain just locks off, I’ve tried so many times to ring the helpline but it’s so difficult to get threw, I know that I want to end r relationship, but he doesn’t see that there is anything wrong and neither does anyone else, everyone assumes we’re great together, and I feel low because there going to talk and there going to say I’ve let him down, when he needs me the most, I think he knows that I may be weak but my love has gone, and he must be able to feel that, I’ve spent (detail removed by moderator) years in this, feeling like I’m not good enough, the amount of time we’ve been out I can count on 1 hand, I used to think it was me, he was right, I was fat, I was jealous of him, but I know now that it’s not me, and for a few years I’ve slowly picked myself up, trying to convince myself that I’m gonna be ok without him, it’s the guilt of leaving, how he’s gonna feel, I can’t seem to put me first and it’s so frustrating

    • #80008
      KIP.
      Participant

      Visit your local womens aid. They were fantastic. Supported me all the way. Now I’m free 😃

    • #80074
      Greyskydarkdays
      Participant

      I’m glad to hear that you made it threw kip, I am getting there, I will keep trying till I get threw to them, thankyou

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