Overwhelmed

[Anonymous]

Today i feel overwhelmed it is looking like the daughter is going to take ages to be rehoused. I feel like my head is going to explode. She has no patience with him and so she sets him off and I have to defend her because she is pregnant, it does not matter how many times I tell her to ignore him she has to have her say. Very frustrating when I am the one taking the brunt of his temper. I am hating this house right now, hating life right now and not helped by the fact that no one is going out at all so there appears to be no let up. I have become everyones go to, bank and problem solver even their friends come to me when they want to know something. Today I have not left my room, I can’t face it. It is days like this I wish I could go out and clear my head but being agoraphobic that is not going to happen. Sorry just needed to moan!!! x

[godschild]

So so sorry you feel so overwhelmed, sometimes its bad enough with agoraphobia and being stuck in let alone with all of them there and trying keep the peace and the demands on you.
Its half term isnt it so that makes it a lot worse for you.
Sorry to hear your daughter has to wait to be re housed that is more pressure on you.
Do they leave you alone when you stay in your room.
Dont apolgise for moaning you have every reason to moan, it must be torture at times.
When I feel my head will explode I thump a big cushion and try to let it out that way.
Sending you a massive hug your life is so so difficult wish I could do something to make it better for you but I do care and am always thinking of you, take care at least next week half term will finished xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Anonymous]

Hi Godschild, It is exhausting trying to keep the peace. Even when I am in my room I have no tv or anything on because I am listening to what is going on ready to act as peacemaker. I am not used to having people around me so much and they all are demanding in different ways. They don’t leave me alone when I am in my room they come and go as they please. I am longing for some peace and my daughter does not get the whole not going out thing, so it is the one thing the two of them have in common and that is cracking jokes at my expense about me not going out. I brush it off but it does get to me do they not think that I feel a failure enough because I cant go out. Half term is not the issue in all honesty the younger ones do their own thing and come and go at leisure they are no real bother and they never make a fuss about me not going out. How are things with you xx

[godschild]

Thats a shame your daughter cracking jokes as well, as you say we do feel like failures and bad because we have this crippling phobia,not that we should as we havnt asked for it, a bit of support from her might help. Awful that you get no peace in your room even, I dont know how you cope I really don’t , you are an incredible Woman.
Im feeling a lot stronger this week and he has been strangely quiet,made the odd comment here and there but its not got to me like last week. do hope you might get some peace in some way, some how, take care xxxxxx

[Anonymous]

No one gets it. Glad to hear he is quieter. Last night after I posted they started i ended up pinned to the wall. Younger ones are at dads so I am staying in my room for the weekend. Too depressing dealing with them. They make me want to find the nearest hole and stay there permanently. She blames him he blames her. They really dislike each other x

[godschild]

So sorry to hear that, I just do not know how you cope, it would be best if your daughter tried not to antagonise him for your sake.
Does his Dad know how he treats you andis he aware of what goes on,hope yo can get some peace things have worsened it seems with yourdaughter being there, hugs to you again , you have to cope with so so much xxxxx

[Anonymous]

His dad is fully aware and refuses to have anything to do with him. I have asked her time and time again please think before you gob off because it is left to me to calm him down so she don’t get hurt and she just goes off at me then. We are barely talking at the moment you can cut the atmosphere with a knife, hence why I am staying up stairs. I don’t think there will be much of a relationship to salvage by the time she leaves. xx

[godschild]

It seems you are getting it from all angles, sorry you get no support from his Dad, will the fact of how bad the situation is not push forward her getting rehoused, you cant’ live under this extra strain , it must be intolerable for you, is it worth you speaking to someone about how bad it it and try to at least get her rehoused quicker.
I dread to think how it will be if the baby lives with you as well, that will really set him off, I feel so so desperate for you to have to be in this horrendous situation, sending you another hug, seems so inadequate for what you are having to put up with wish I could give you one in person and help you xxxxx

[Anonymous]

There is no one who could help with the housing situation it would mean going back to social worker and/or police and asking for their help again. The social worker did say she would ring weekly but that was weeks ago I have heard nothing since. Plus if they knew how bad things are then no doubt she would start questing my mental capacity again because I haven’t kicked him out. They know I am not going to because I still would not be free even if I did. There is no way a baby could stay here it is not safe, I am struggling trying to keep her safe because by her own admission she likes winding him up. Thank you for all your support it is appreciated xx

[godschild]

Does she not see that in winding him up YOU get the brunt of it all, I think you have incredible mental capacity in having the insight that kicking him out would not end it, but make it more dangerous.
That is very negligent of the social worker. xxxxxx

[Anonymous]

I don’t blame the social worker, she probably has really vulnerable adults to look after. I think what has happened with my daughter is that she was sympathetic at first but then slowly does not understand why I put up with what I do. She admits winding him up but it is because she knows that I will step in. They are getting along at the moment because I bribed him into being nice. I could not cope with another kick off tonight. Have you managed to get out at all this week ? x

[godschild]

Glad they are getting alone for now. Yes wenbt out last night if I stay in formorethan 2/3 days it makes it much harder ot go out sotry to go out at least every few days.
We had a few bits of shopping to do and had a drink at at country pub. This time of year is the hardest for me as my agoraphobia is much much worse in daylight , I cope much better in the dark but its always a struggle when ever I go out, do wish you could get out from time to time, but you need some sort of support to do it, not that I get much support as such, but he does take me take care hope they continue to get along for a bit xxxx

[Anonymous]

I went to the hospital in December or January that was the last time I made it out. Very frustrating because I used to go out not often but I did. I would love to go sit in a desserted countryside somewhere but I would need someone to do that with lol. Very glad for you that you are able to get out every few days, honestly you don’t ever want to end up stuck like me , you take care xx

[godschild]

You take care too, I have been where you are now with not going out at all, its not nice xxxx

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