8th June 2016 at 10:45 pm #18811
Last night I had an awful dream – I won’t go into much detail as am aware it could be very triggering for someone reading this – it was about my ex. My perp. He was being abusive and violent to me and so I persuaded him to have sex to appease him, and he raped me. It’s not unusual for me to have these kinds of dreams, i suffer ptsd, but usually I’d wake in a panic and sweats…this time.I woke in physical pain, like it had actually happened?
Is that even possible that my awful dream cause physical pain? It is very possible.it’s all in my head, the pain was the same pain he would.inflict on me by violent sex, but the pain last night felt very real. Very very real.
I’m due to write a victim impact statement for court, so it’s been sort of vacationing on my mind, so it’s no wonder the dreams are back. Has anyone had physical pain from a dream before?
8th June 2016 at 11:19 pm #18816Peaceful PigParticipant
Hi LBP, I often have very strong physical pains during flashbacks from things that happened decades ago. In fact one particular pain led me to be hospitalised once and no medical cause could be found. Years later I recovered memories that explain the pain perfectly. In fact it’s one of the things that helps me believe my fragmented memories – my body knows more about what’s happened than I do! My body was still there while my mind went elsewhere. I’ve done a lot of reading on trauma since then and I firmly believe in a very strong mind-body connection. I’ve just been reading ‘the body keeps the score’ by Bessel van der Kolk on this very subject. Your dream may have a function to help you be clear about the impact upon you. I hope writing the statement isn’t too traumatic for you. Try to get lots of support around you and give yourself as much kindness as possible. I’ve been practising yoga for trauma, just a short 20 minute video on YouTube which I find very comforting and is helping me get more in tune with my bodily sensations in a safe way xx
9th June 2016 at 8:18 am #18827
Thank you for replying to me PeacefulPig, it means alot.
I’ve never had physical pain from a nightmare before – I have from flashbacks but that was different? I will look into that book!
I started writing the statement a while ago, but it’s not really clear enough on the actual effects it has all had on me, it was more focused on what has happened. I’m not so good at talking about the emotion of it all, can deal in facts, but not much more. x
9th June 2016 at 5:50 pm #18853Peaceful PigParticipant
I think that as you were dreaming about a situation that actually, and frequently, happened and therefore a pain you actually experienced in your waking life it is no surprise that you remembered the pain as well as the event. The mind remembers pain long after the physical healing has happened.
Maybe stating that you continue to suffer from PTSD and listing the symptoms you suffer would be a helpful way to explain the emotional effects in a more scientific and factual way? X
9th June 2016 at 8:26 pm #18863Confused123Participant
I think your having triggers set of as u have to write statement , in my thoughts,
10th June 2016 at 4:35 pm #18891
Thank you both for your support <3
I want to be as honest as possible in the statement, but my ex will hear it when it’s read out and there’s a part of me that knows he’ll get off on knowing how he’s made me suffer and I’m not sure I want to give him that satisfaction? x
10th June 2016 at 5:33 pm #18893AyannaParticipant
Yes, this happens sometimes. It is not a nice experience.
Please be honest in your statement. In my experience abusers are in denial about the effects their actions have on us. When he is forced to listen to the statement it will affect him. He will feel powerless, because he cannot choose to blind it out as he would do if you were with him alone. He will hear it in front of people who represent the law. It will make him feel exposed. Trust me, he deserves these feelings. He needs to feel that he is now powerless and see that you take your power back.
10th June 2016 at 8:33 pm #18904
Ayanna, good to hear from you.
Thank you, I hadn’t considered it that way at all. I find it hard to say how it all feels. x
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