Panic!

[Moonshine]

Hi again,
I finally did it, I divorced him after (detail removed by moderator) sorted finances and bought him out of the home.
He refueto go til he got his money and (detail removed by moderator) heeft.
After being so strong despite him doing his best to delay everything I am now on my knees crying like somebody died I having panic attacks.
I keep blaming myself for everything and even tryi g to justify his behaviour over the years and looking at ways to keep him in my life.
Why am I doing this, I’m actually paralysed with fear now he’s gone. I can’t bear this feeling.

 

 

[KIP.]

Google trauma bonding. He had made your world all about him and now there’s a void there you don’t know how to deal with it. Take one hour at a time x it’s going to feel so alien to you. You’re going to crave what you thought was ‘normal’. You will feel like. Duck out of water. That on,y. Y contacting him will you find peace. That’s the abuse talking. Dig deep and ride out this storm. It will pass and calm will follow x are you having counselling? Might be a good idea meantime x

[Moonshine]

Thank you Kip.
My logical side tells me this, but it feels so bad that I don’t know what to do with myself.
Ive waited so long for this and now I feel like I’m going crazy.
I’m hanging on to the kids every word to confirm Iv done the right thing, but then look at my youngest who I feel I’ve deprived of her father.
I really do need some counselling, not sure if womens aid do this or how long a waiting list might be.

[diymum@1]

the GP should sign post you to trauma therapy xx this is the tail spin we all go into when they shut the door – we dont know where to turn what to thin or what to do. i felt like this and it always pulled me back to him because the feeling off panic came in waves. this is definitely trauma bonding and these feelings will pass xx trust us on this – stay no contact and as time passed these feelings ease. reach out to womens aid too get all the support you can get xx we survived and so will you i promise xx love diymum

[Moonshine]

Thank you diymum.
I hope that you are in a good place now.
I guess that I have to ride the storm a d take help where I can x

[lover of no contact]

Well done Moonshine….This Too Will Pass:)

[Moonshine]

Thank you lover of no contact.
I’m at the mercy of my mood at the moment. I don’t know how I’m feeling from one minute to the next. I go from feeling really positive and proud of how I’ve coped to having an absolute meltdown with guilt, fear and anxiety.
Thanks to everyone for your support x

[Author]

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