Panicking

[Newst@rt]

I blocked contact with my ex last year, as recommended by a DA charity, but he’s still finding ways to contact me. He’s in a different country and it would be difficult for him to come to the UK, but since lockdown I’ve been receiving manipulative messages from him, with the latest saying that he’d like contact with the children ‘with my blessing’, and I’m now panicking that this means he will do it without my blessing, ie. apply for a court order. I’m scared this lockdown means he has more time to think and plan, and I’m stuck at home with no one to talk to about this and it is making me feel really anxious. I just want him out of our lives for good.

[KIP.]

He’s making you anxious because of his contact. Block him on everything. Change your number and if he does go through court make sure you have kept any evidence of abuse, tell him if he continues to contact you he will be reported to the police. There are proper procedures to go through it he wants contact with his children x

[Newst@rt]

Thank you KIP x

[fizzylem]

I dont think you have much to worry about if he’s in a differnt country NS, gosh would be a lot of red tape to get through. Just persevere and keep blocking him – eventually there will be no options other than to contact you by letter via his solicitor – and you don’t have to actually respond to these letters either if you didn’t want to, there is no legal obligation to do so at all, guess the only letter you’d need to do something about is British court papers.

I’m not sure how this would work are you if he’s in a differnt country, it would not be safe for him to take the children out of the country because he might keep them; so how would the children physically see him? Family court is to arrange access isn’t it, how could it help him here if he’s in a different country? My gut feeling here, might be wrong, but is he just trying to find a way back in?

Call Rights for Women and discuss the law so you feel better about things knowing what are your rights and his here, think you’d feel much better knowing where you stand x

[fizzylem]

You could also book a free consulation with a family law solicitor, I’d ring round first and check whether this person is familiar with international family law x

[Newst@rt]

Thank you Fizzylem. I’ve just messaged a friend who left an abusive relationship and she thinks he’s trying to get to me while I’m isolated and possibly not feeling as strong. I’d never in a million years go back. Hopefully it’s just an empty threat. I’ve emailed my local DA charity for some advice too. He was under police investigation here (for something unrelated) so hoping he won’t want to risk contacting the UK courts or coming to the UK. X

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