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    • #7156

      Morning all will have to make this briefas its back to normality (if anything in our lives is normal) and school runs.

      So the adrenaline rush of last week has warn of. And I’m starting to panic. What if he goes to prison he won’t cope.

      Butore importantly this year we will have to leave refuge and move to our own home. This I find so scarry he will be able to trace us, I’m so scarred of him finding us and what he will do if he does. Any ideas what happens when you leave please?

    • #7188


      I left refuge last year.
      You can register for the electoral roll anonymously. Check online.

      Apart from my local council stuff and my doctors letters, all of my mail and deliveries go to my parents house.

      While I was on benefits I set up a password and pseudonym and the letters came to my house addressed to the pseudonym.

      I get online bank statements. And I’m very careful about where I put my address, never anywhere unnecessary.

      I’m maybe extra vigilant because my ex traced me before I moved to refuge.

      My bubble felt like it popped as I transioned to “reality” but I still felt very safe in and around my new area knowing he didn’t know where to find me.

      Speak to your support worker at your refuge, ask for their support and the support of whichever council you move to. Explain to the various agencies that need your real address, the dangers that you face if it is revealed.

      Good luck. X*x

    • #7208
      Main Moderator

      Hi In need of some space,

      Getting back to normality after the Christmas period can be difficult. Especially because reality often feels like it kicks back in and the old challenges that you face come screaming back.

      It sounds like you have a big year ahead of you with leaving refuge which is really daunting. But that is also positive and really important in your next steps to moving on from your abuser. The police are always there if ever you feel concerned in your new house when you leave and they are also a phone call away. There are steps you can take to get more security so you feel safer. It is really difficult to block out the anxiety you feel but when you start to feel worried, try and focus on how far you have come and where you eventually want to be. You are edging closer to that goal every day. You have made some really important steps already, keep pushing forward.

      Best wishes


      Forum Moderator

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