Partner disgusted by my previous relationships

[orchid7]

Has anyone experienced their abuser being extremely angry about their previous sexual relationships? I did not think my past was unusual however he told me how awful it was and how ashamed I should feel about it. That the number of people was repulsive and disgusting etc etc. I feel I have internalized his views. I am trying to not be so ashamed of myself about these things and I wondered if anyone else has had the same problem and managed to overcome the things he has said ? X I have left but I struggle to deal with this part x

[nbumblebee]

Oh yes absolutly i must have known even back when we first met as i never told him all about my past the good nor the bad.
But bits i did tell him he still now even when we have been married almost 3 decades he still gets grumpy nasty even if its ever spoken about. Xx

[orchid7]

Hello thank you very much for your message. I am so sorry about what you are going through but it is comforting to know that it is a common thing for them to do. Gives me hope that I can believe the things he said are not true xx

[Scarecrow]

Wow!

Your number of sexual partners is quite frankly none of his business and nothing that you should be ashamed of.

Speculating now but I would guess that his biggest aim with this is to make you feel badly about yourself, and he has been successful. Take a breath and breathe out the weight of his opinions. Whether you had slept with 5 people or 50 – he would have an issue with it. I also guarantee that if you asked him how many people he has slept with that he wouldn’t tell you as it was none of your business.

I am so glad that you have left the situation – it can take a long time to rid ourselves of the toxic baggage that they leave with us.

Be kind to yourself, don’t judge yourself harshly for something that is only a big deal for him – and his opinion is irrelevant,
Hugs
Scarecrow x

[orchid7]

Hi Scarecrow thank you for your message. ‘take a breathe and breathe out the weight of his opinion’ is definitely going in my motivational quotes !! It’s hard to see it as their opinion or control method and not the truth but reading your response is definitely a help xx

[Eyesopening]

Such typical abusive behavior. Making you feel s**t, actually giving you deep scars.
My ex, used to either tell me there was something wrong with me because I didn’t want sex, OR make out i was a s**t for enjoying sex. You can never win. Their goal is to make you feel c**p, so they look like the God and almighty, that is all right and powerful and better then you and knows all. Xx

[orchid7]

Hello thank you for your reply. It’s good to hear both sides of the spectrum I.e. bad if you do, bad if you don’t… suppose them making you feel c**p is the goal and whatever’s gonna hurt you the most they will do xx when I think about non-sexual things I could never win, so it is the case with this too xx thank you xx

[StrongLife]

“Whether you had slept with 5 people or 50 – he would have an issue with it.“

I totally agree with the above statement.

It’s not your fault he is like this.

[Author]

Posts