passing by again

[mayflower]

perhaps this is the wrong place to post
but I had the email from Lisa about a research project thing, and it reminded me what a safe place this had been for me
I suddenly find myself in need of seeing the familiar names and wanting to know how people are
I have already spotted karma, and shinebright
how are you both?
I will try to find your updates
I am muddling on – I don’t have much to do with ‘him’ although he is still a presence in my life and what he did still lies like a vast wall between me and my daughter at times

something triggered me off, mh wise, a couple of weeks ago, and I was catapulted back to that weekend when I left him, when he got arrested, and when my whole world tipped on its head
so I guess at the moment I am not so well, but I had been doing better before this

anyway
my love and good wishes to any who need them
MF xx

[White Rose]

Hi mayflower
I’m having a wobbly time too its the time of year when a particular anniversary comes up and the last 3 years with him he ignored it. That hurt, and although I’ve been away from him for quite some time I’ve got butterflies and find myself thinking will he remember? I think he does as he’s been trying to contact again to get me to rise to the bait. His emails are bring added to the 1000 of so i have saved “just in case” but I’m not replying.
I think all of our lives will be up and down and memories will trigger things but I think we’ll get to accept its temporary downs and we’ve learned to move forward.
I had the email from Lisa too. It got me thinking but I don’t think it has anything at all to do with my wobble. In fact I felt empowered by it! Someone actually wants our help with something and we might make a difference for others. I think I’m going to do it. I trust them and if I crumble and back out or its too much to handle I know they’ll not push me but respect me.
Take care and look after yourself xxxx

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