Past Events

[Dragonfly]

I’m not having a good time at the moment. In the last few months my son has decided it’s a good idea to skive off school. He’ll go into class then just walk out the building then go back again. I’ve been into the school, we agreed a plan of action then he does it again. I’m at a loss with him now. He’s fine in every other way. His dad’s disappeared off the face of the earth, no birthday or Xmas presents for my son. Son says he doesn’t care about him.

Then my home is broken into with keys!! Specific items were stolen i.e. only mine. There’s lots to steal in here so why just specific things. I’ve changed the locks. Now I feel like I’m being watched again. I don’t feel safe. The person who broke in obv knows me and my movements. I find myself in high alert again. I can’t prove who it was.

Part of my job entails training people. I’ve now discovered the people I’m training are on several thousand pounds more than me. I’ve taken this to my manager but she says there’s nothing she can do. I will be going over her head tho.

I just feel like everything’s against me. I’m trying to have a positive attitude but it’s very difficult.

I know there’s more important things in life but I’m really deflated.

[lover of no contact]

Hi Dragonfly,

You have a lot on your plate at the moment so no wonder you feel as you do. As regards your son, well he has come such a long way. I remember your previous posts. Hang on in there with him. At least he is going back into school after he skives off. All you can do is say it to him once and then at least the school will deal with his behaviour at the moment. I have gone through my teenager’s off the wall behaviour. I found taking a step back and trying to tell them only once (or maybe twice, I’m only human lol) what’s expected of them and then trying to keep my mouth shut usually worked after a time. I also tried not to pick up the pieces or sort out the consequences of their behaviours. Its worrying at the time but things seemed to sort themselves out with them…eventually. Sometimes it took a lot of time but when I look back on old diaries I see how the difficult behaviours sorted themselves out. Luckily they had off the wall behaviours alright but they weren’t abusers like their dad, just self-sabotaging behaviours and lack of self-care behaviours. But keep posting for support. Its very trying.

The break-in must be ennerving. That is good you’ve changed the locks. Another reason to keep posting for support. Did your ex have keys to your place?

Glad you’re taking the unfair situation at work further.

[Dragonfly]

Hey

Thanks for responding. Just felt really down before. I think the break in was the last straw. My son’s just being a (detail removed by Moderator) atm unfortunately. We’re talking and he understands the consequences so I’m hopeful he’ll be back on track.

My ex had keys but I got them back. However the police are very interested in him. He could’ve got a copy made.

So I’m adamant I’ll cope and things will get better

[lover of no contact]

Onwards and upwards. I find my commitment to healing and recovering from abuse seems to be affecting positively my children’s lives, even though they are still in denial about their abuser dad, his abuse and the affects of his abusive behaviour on them .

But all we can do is get away from abusive relationships and heal and work on ourselves. We have no control over our children’s behaviours and choices. But us practising self-care, moving forward, getting support by coming on here is all we can do for them. But I trust and hope our positive choices will influence them. I see slow positive changes with mine…slow though so I need lots of patience. And Trust, trust all will be ok.

[Ayanna]

I have been changing jobs until I felt comfortable at one place.
Install an alarm in your place.
Does your son have therapy?

[Dragonfly]

I’ve changed the locks and looking into getting a camera

[Author]

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