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Hello. I was in what I’m starting to learn was an abusive relationship with a gambler. Right now I can’t mentally compute what he’s done to me and made me feel, my emotions are shot and to be honest I’m still in survival mode. Maybe one day my mental state will come crashing down around me! Right now I am angry; I’m in debt to the tune of thousands of pounds, which I’ll be paying for the next 3 years at least. I feel like I’ve ruined my life before it’s begun and I’m now saddled with HIS debt. Because HE MADE ME get into debt. And I’m fuming.
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Iam in the same position as you. But you know what i would rather be in debt than be with monster
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I was in a similar situation. He was not a gambler but (detail removed by moderator) and took every penny I had, made me take bank loans and followed me to the UK, walked to the cash machines with me and made me draw £££££££. It took me five years to pay the debt this man put me into. It had felt as if he sat in my brain. And to top everything he raped me when I ended the relationship.
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…I’m with you ladies on this…he came into the relationship in debt, from another Country..he then accumulated wealth…at my expense while playing poverty stricken, putting it all away in his bank account! On top of that he’s taken ownership of a joint property venture…I too am fuming, and need to sort this ASAP!
Who is this person I’ve been living with and giving all this to?Cx
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Is there nothing that can be done to prove its not your debt, in divorce there’s a financial settlement where each party discloses debts as well as savings. It maybe these debts need paying as they’re not traceable just to him which is tough but I understand why you’re doing it.
Is citizens advice, rights of women any help in this or even a 30 minute free solicitor session?
If any of you in this situation have joint bank accounts get out of them now and go it alone as far as finances go. I didn’t as stupidly I trusted mine and it was only when left I realised the extent of his financial abuse – much of it illegal as he set up online accounts in my name password protected and then used them to pay himself. Such a lovely man I married!
You will be free of him and his debt one day and it will feel good I can assure you… I’m so close to the final financial door closing now I can almost touch it xxxx -
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Hi
If you’re married then everything, yes pretty much everything!!! becomes matrimonial assets/liabilities. (unless it’s inheritance). There’s good and bad in that but it’s all about sharing fairly or especially if you have children a 60/40 split for example. Please go get advice asap. Don’t be saddled with his debt, it’ll just add to the stress. My ex wants £ (removed by moderator) out of me even though it was/is my flat! My solicitor also thinks he’s an idiot but…….please check out your rights and get advice.
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Hi Timelordtrouble,
Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I’m very sorry to read that your ex has caused you to be in serious debt. Your anger is completely justified.
Unfortunately there is not a specialist support service that exists purely to support women who have experienced financial abuse. However, there are a number of services that may be able to provide information that could potentially help you. It is always a good idea to get as much information as you can to ensure you are aware of your rights.
Have a look at the ‘Money Issues’ link on this website for services that may be helpful.
I would also suggest making contact with your local domestic abuse service; you can ask if they offer a legal advice service.
Kind Regards,
Lisa
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