Perpetrator/Inspiring Family Programmes, do they work?

[Random.]

Me & my partner are still together despite countless times of him being emotionally & physically abusive to me. I’m at the end of my tether hes still under investigation for a couple of incidents towards me & I had a letter asking for my consent to give police my medical records not long ago which of course he went mad over & kicked off again.
I’ve said about the inspiring families programme designed for people who want to stay in the relatiinship, although I’m really not sure I do, as a sort of last resort. Hes been open to it which seems good. He has said if this doesn’t work he’ll just go back to his old ways so thats not instilling a great sense of hope. I just wondered if anyone else had tried this & if it worked?

[fizzylem]

Not heard of it; this sounds like a much better approach / intervention than mediation, the often prescibed route for couples in troubled relationships.

I think you are bound to feeling this way and I share your view that it could be the last resort and if not then you’ve arrived at the end haven’t you.

He is also bound to be saying this as he really doesn’t know if he will learn anything, suspects this is unlikely (no one can help me), he has yet to discover whether it will have any value, you too, but unless you try the alternative is to end it isn’t it.

He needs to approach this open to the possibilty it might help and to commit to the the full process beignning to end before deciding whether it is or not helpful, because there will likely be times that it becomes challenging during the process, which is no reason to quit, more a reason to see it through.

I think you’re feeling pretty hopeless after a long time of putting up with his behaviour and like wise are feeling is there really anything that can help.

You dont have to comitt to anything yourself just yet, of course ‘if’ you both decided to go ahead then I imagne you’d want to see the changes you need and for a long time afterwards hey. If it were successful then it would bring you closer together wouldn’t it, free from abuse, free to have a healthy functioning, respectful and loving relationship.

However, from past experience, I know that there is never one thing that fixes healing, that we all need a number of people, interventions, different types of help and it’s on-going for a while; chances are that you may need to also consider couple counselling to assist with communication and developing a positve relationship and individual counselling each as well – it’s a process isn’t it and this course could be the foundation / the start x

[Iwantmeback]

My oh went for councelling, said he had to to win me back. Told him I wasn’t the prize for good behaviour. He went for a while, sourced it and paid for it. I went to few sessions with him too. It did not change him at all. Every week gave him more ammunition to use against me, nothing stayed within those 4 walls. He’s admitted he’s to old to change his behaviour yet on the other hand after yet another b..w up, he’s all remorseful and promising not to lose it again. I’m getting sorted to move areas next, I’m too close, too afraid not to totally cut ties in case he comes to my door and them I have to involve the police.i recently warned him to leave me alone or else I would go to them,, gutted what, all I was told that he’d end up in jail and I’d lose everything. He still doesn’t get it that I’ve already gave up everything to get away from him. I’ve not lost anything but I have found me in the process💪💞
IWMB 💞💞

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