Persistent obsessive/ stalking behaviour

[Endurance]

My partner has blamed me for our separation, including to the kids. He’s emotionally and physically abused the kids after our divorce and they are no longer seeing him. He’s complained to my employer trying to get me sacked. He’s complained to the police about me. He stalks is and uses his parental rights to do so. My counselor is sure he is a n********t, as am I. This is now years after our separation. How do people cope with this? I can’t imagine it ever ending

[KIP.]

Hi there. Boundaries and third parties for all contact. Your local women’s aid should also be able to support you with other things like the legal side of stalking and harrassment and point you in the direction of the police or a civil solicitor if need be. A non molestation order might stop the harrassment. One with a power of arrest should he breach it. They only stop when they’re made to. Keep a journal of his behaviour. Parental rights will only get him so far especially when he’s committing child abuse x

[Endurance]

Thanks. I know. So far he’s nearly at that point. The legal stuff, diaries etc are in hand. Since the child abuse the only contact the kids have had was supervised by social work and for the last year they haven’t wanted any. The legal pathways are frustrating. I have had a lot of support and I have taken the precautions I can take, have the follow it app, storm marker etc. It’s just day to day living with it, almost waiting for our to get worse before it can get better

I agree they never stop unless made to

[KIP.]

It sounds like you have therapy in place. And recognise his abuse for what it is. Healing from Hidden Abuse is a good book. Just keep building a life away from him. They are like a toxic smell. It’s overpowering at first but we learn to live with it and eventually the smell doesn’t bother us as much or at all until it’s right in front of us again x

[Lisa]

Hi Endurance,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting. I hope you find the forum a supportive place to be with others who understand about what you are going through. I am sorry to hear of the abuse you and your children have been through. Well done for reaching out for support from different agencies. Please do use the forum as a safe place to offload to other Survivors and for further support.

Do keep posting when you can.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Author]

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