Phone Calls with Child

[backtome]

So as well as me being no contact from now on, for the time being my little girl is no contact as that’s what I’ve been advised by Social Services until they have completed a risk assessment and identified a suitable supervisor (i.e. no me).

‘His’ Mum is asking if my little girl will phone her Dad up in the meantime. A family member is looking after her at the moment for me and has asked her if she wants to talk to Daddy and she’s said no. I told the family member to leave it a little while and then ask her again. If she says no again do I tell them to phone anyway or let my little girl decide as if she’s forced the phone call most likely won’t go very well?

She’s very young (foundation stages) so not sure how much she understands if that makes sense. x

[KIP.]

Do what social service have told you. Your daughter is no contact with him until they say so. She is happy and not missing him. Dont fix it if its not broken. The less contact she ever has with him the better as far as im concerned. If his mum pushes things just say you are doing what social services have advised and wont be changing that until risk assessment done. Stay strong. Set boundaries and dont be bullied x

[backtome]

Thanks KIP, I just wanted to confirm I’m doing the right thing and it sounds like I am. She has been asking about when she will see him but she doesn’t seem overly upset by not seeing him if that makes sense. x

[EeyoreNoMore]

You’re totally doing the right thing by complying with Social Services’ recommendation. Don’t even mention it to her unless SS say it’s okay.

[backtome]

Thanks EeyoreNoMore, it’s so hard and confusing knowing what the best thing is.

I’m one week no-contact as of today. x

[KIP.]

Hey, well done with no contact. I know how difficult this is and the mental strain it puts you under but please please hang in there. The rewards of no contact are immeasurable. Kids are very resilient. If she talks about wanting to see him then just change the subject and distract her. You’re still very vulnerable and looking for reassurance in your decision making. This comes from abuse. I’ve been there. Now I make my decisions and don’t question them. It all comes naturally. No nasty voice telling me I’m doing wrong. Do self doubting voice because I know I’m right. I’m adult and my decisions are right for me. Just hang in there and you will see your self confidence return and everything else follows x

[backtome]

Thanks KIP, it’s hard but I’m winning so far. The hardest is when my little girl asks for him. She got upset last night wanting to see him. x

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