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    • #120983

      I don’t know if this sounds crazy but I have developed IBS symptoms and pain whilst being with my abusive partner. I cut out lots of things from my diet, started exercising, taking probiotics you name it and it did help but I’ve noticed when things are really bad or he is in his rages my symptoms flare up?
      He has just been horrible to me and I’ve brought myself in the other room to get away from him and now my stomach is hurting (this happens all the time). Is it just me??

    • #120985

      Hi , I had the same and would last until things settled again .It’s anxiety. Can also trigger headaches,toothache , sore throats , colds etc.Because you feel low it drags you down and weakens your Ammu e system.Try breathing techniques or music.I wore headphones frequently.

      • #120988

        Hey tinkerbell2020 thank you for replying it’s comforting to know that it isn’t in my head. That makes so much sense. Mine too when things are “calm” I’m fine but if not I have all sorts of pains in my body and digestive problems. It comforts me to know that my body is reacting to something which means I’m not making it up and it really is happening.

    • #121000

      It’s definitely not in your head. Feelings are called that because they are physically felt in the body. Towards the end of my relationship I had continuous IBS symptoms and nausea. I lost my appetite and developed symptoms of anorexia. He controlled all the food shopping and cooking by that point(while verbally abusing me for not doing it) and not eating was the only bit of control I had left. My hair used to come out in handfuls in the shower and he would abuse me for blocking the drain. It was all his doing.

      Living with abuse makes us so unwell. Thankfully my symptoms resolved in time after I left. There’s a great book “the body says no” by Gabor Mate about this phenomenon. Take care of yourself xx

      • #121016

        I’m so sorry you went through that. I have now become quite obsessive with my diet, I literally said to my friend the other day it feels nice to have control over something for once. He comments on everything I eat, how I eat etc, now I have started being strict with my diet and working out, I also get comments about that now too. Can never win!
        I have added that book to my list thank you so much! You too xx

    • #121001

      I suffered terribly with an acid stomach and fatigue. I was hyper vigilant all of the time so no doubt the chemicals flooding my system related to that state caused these physical symptoms. It’s not you. It’s good you are taking steps to care for yourself. I got out of the relationship and feel like I have loads more energy and time for me ❤️

      • #121017

        This makes so much sense. I never suffered with anything like this before and now it’s constant with his behaviour. It really is sickening what it does to your mind and body. I can’t wait until I can say I’m out and better also. Happy for you, thank you for taking the time to reply to me ❤️

    • #121025

      Not crazy at all, and btw it’s great that you have the self awareness to notice it. When your stress response is activated, because it’s only supposed to be for a short while, your body shifts blood/energy away from your non urgent systems like your digestive system. The problem with abuse is that your stress response is constantly activated so your digestive system (and others) can take a real battering. As others have said, it will get better when the stress reduces. Other stress reducing activities might help while you’re still with him, meditation, exercise, relaxation exercises.

      In short, your body is acting perfectly normally to a situation it wasn’t designed to cope with. And you are coping (however badly you feel like you’re coping, you’re getting up, eating etc). It takes amazing strength to cope with abuse. It’s like everyone is a duck on a pond. We might look like all the other ducks but of you look under the water you see that our legs are having to go much faster than other people’s!

      Sending love xxxx

      • #121046

        Hey ISOpeace, I love the analogy about the ducks! I appreciate the things you said so much, thank you.

        Sending love to you too 💕💕

    • #121178

      I have found out that there is such thing as somatisation (apologies for spelling) it is where the stress and anxiety can come out in physical form. EG you can have similar symptoms as MS but it is “in your head” I think this could be what you are experiencing. Check it out, it may help to understand

    • #121233
      Freedom @

      When the body says no, the cost of hidden stress by gabor mate. Insightful book. Also goes into detail about the impact of children growing up alongside unhealthy relations and how they can pick up on fear anxiety stress without even witnessing obvious violence etc…

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