Picking up the pieces

[Tired@runningsilence]

Today is feeling like it could be better, I woke up just after 1 am this morning, with only about 3 hours sleep I feel ok, already cleaned , did washing and now I must search and continue to find out how and where am I and children going,

its so bad, everything is so bad and confusing, but for the first time ever in about (detail removed by Moderator) years I feel that this might be it, the last time I will ever have to beg for money, plead for children to have something, I feel free, scarred and so many emotions , but free, does not make any sense I know.

Amidst all this I am not really sleeping as the house is being watched, hr has in previous year placed tracking on my car and hidden cameras in home, it don’t even care, I will stay isolated with children till I know its safe to move around, its hard but if he or his (detail removed by Moderator) son have access, they take our tv, rip and switch off WIFI, move around all my stuff and take what ever they want, even my (detail removed by Moderator) was taken, it so hard but also this time I feel stronger.

I know not everyone is religious and I respect each and everyone space and opinion, but I am so great full to God, he has just paved the way for me without me realising it,

he took my Car, so had to beg and borrow and take all saving to buy another to take kids to school and work, he closed my contract so I lost my number, could not get order or do anything, was logged out of everything, he demanded that I (detail removed by Moderator) or he want it and will cut it off, even thou (detail removed by Moderator), and I do have a new number, he still want (detail removed by Moderator) and did actually cut off (detail removed by Moderator),

this seemed like the end of the world to me, could not take children to school, could not work, no one could reach me, I felt like just giving up on live, now when I look back I know God was there every step of the way, because, (detail removed by Moderator), this time I had a place to hide it and just kept the keys with me, I only now see the miracle in this terrible situation,

but I am amazed at how wonderful and supporting this group and so many others are, I can not describe my gratitude and wish I could meet each and every one to say, Thanks You, so if you are reading this,

THANK YOU Moderators and each and every person that help someone in need,

everyone has inspired me so much that I am adamant to volunteer or find someway or something to do to help other or assist and support anyone in any way, I am still I long way from being stable and ok, and me and children will still have to climb may mountains, but I feel positive and ok, l

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Tiredrunningsilence

I am sorry to hear of your struggles and challenges, you don’t deserve any of this. It sounds very hard indeed for you to function with those abuses to you attempting to stop you at every turn and you have shown remarkable spirit to keep going. I hope you don’t think that your god wants to see you suffer this way.

Its important you prioritise yourself, and the happier you are the happier your chidren will be and I truly hope that this will now work out for you and whilst it is a very laudable intention to volunteer to help others, please prioritise yourself and think of you and your needs, being selfish to get what you need is your priority right now, and hopefully when you get to the other side of this, and are getting full sleep and your life restored, if you still have that desire to help others you will have a lot more capacity to do so. Take care of you, and do keep posting as and when you need either to simply connect with others like yourself in this position, or to ask for any helps too.

warmest wishes

ts

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