planned non-molestation order

[Aquawoman]

Hi, just wondering if anyone has any experience of being granted a non-molestation and occupation order on the grounds of emotional abuse? Christmas holidays have been a nightmare and things are likely to get worse after he is informed of the application. If this isn’t granted I feel that my only option will be to move out and let my house go into arrears and most likely be repossessed. He refuses to pay for anything.

[KIP.]

Do you have a supporting letter from your GP? Any witnesses? Are you keeping a journal or secretly recording the abuse. Is it coercive. If you’re frightened of him, if he threatening you make sure you journal or record. Financial abuse is a crime. Speak to women’s aid about your application and what to put on it. If you can evidence that he’s not paying etc it will be good for your case. I think it’s about building the bigger picture and showing a pattern of abuse and the effect it has on you. Emotional abuse may also come under other parts of the law. Ring Rights of Women and look on their website x

[mojo]

Yes, (detail removed by moderator). Get a family lawyer/specialist in DA to help you. There is an organisation called FLOWS that can help with free legal advice and statements etc if finances are an issue and the NCDV can help you get emergency protection too.

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They may agree to pay things like x school fees as part of the undertaking among other things although the court itself does not deal with financial matters in any detail as that is not it’s role. Also be aware that when you go to court that the hour or so before your hearing is when his legal advisor and yours will talk thorough possible options or argue about them as the case may be. Be prepared to think on your feet and be clear about what you are agreeing to and don’t be pressured by time passing. It takes as long as it takes. He may, (detail removed by moderator) put an offer on the table to try and get out of it going to a hearing and the finding going against him. (detail removed by moderator).

If you don’t have children you might prefer to push for an order even if he contests it just so that there is a legal mark in the sand that you applied and went to a hearing? If you then need to reapply you will then know what weight your evidence had and what your new evidence can do to support a new application perhaps?

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In terms of children, the non mol is really helpful with Cafcass when they come to assess whether DA has happened and the impact on children, as even if you were unsuccessful as CC is harder to prove, it shows you were concerned enough to try to seek protection ie it shows you were afraid for your safety and that of any children and proactively sought legal protection. It therefore carries weight in any children’s proceedings and Cafcass (detail removed by moderator) take note of it.

I guess if you do not have children, and sought another non mol at a later date, the fact that you applied previously could add to the weight of evidence at that time too?

Hope there are some things there that are useful. It’s not as daunting as it might appear and you can ask for special measures – (detail removed by moderator) So arrive extra early so you can make sure you are there before him to get a room organised with the court usher. You can also ask to leave the court first or last afterwards so you don’t see him. Good luck and stay strong.

[Aquawoman]

Thanks for the advice. I have been keeping a record but haven’t written everything down its hard to keep up with it. (detail removed by moderator) There’s never been anything physical so no police reports and not been to GP although I am beginning to feel that I need to see them. Thanks for the advice.

[mojo]

Hello again Aqua, you don’t need to have been physically assaulted to report it to the police. The 2015 Coercive control law means you can report any incident where you have been frightened and feared for your wellbeing. You need two incidents for there to have been a pattern as a minimum- sound like you are at that point? The more reports the better – wish I had understood this sooner and involved the police earlier. The police here were really good at handling it sensitively. You can ask for a specialist DA officer as they will ‘get’ it.

Lots of my post were moderated that could be helpful especially around types of evidence you can put forward – please feel free to PM me. If anything I have experienced can help someone else it’s all to the good 🙂

[Thistle06]

I’m in the same situation aquawoman I want him to leave the house but I need to go for a non molestation order..(detail removed by moderator) years of coercive control, gas lighting and bullying , none of it physical.

Mojo your advice is great I’m going to see the police tomorrow about an incident which happened over xmas to get it recorded as I want to build evidence against him and now his family. I have text messages from him asking me for money etc…and started recording conversations where I feel uncomfortable.

It’s not easy but dont give up I’m desperately trying not to this time x*x

[Author]

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